Episode 11: Faith Feels Funky Sometimes: Trusting God When Things Arenʼt Cute

This morning, I woke up feeling kind of blah.

Just really down on myself. The truth? 

I let my mind wander into places it didn’t need to go.

I started scrolling on social media, checking out other podcasts and groups that are also trying to help teen girls. I noticed how many followers they had, how successful they seemed, and it made me start comparing.

Then I peeked at my own podcast stats—like who’s listening and from where—and that made the “blah” feeling even worse. 

I started to wonder, Why am I even doing this? Is it making a difference? Does God even see me right now? I felt unqualified and honestly a little disappointed—maybe in myself, maybe even in God.

But right in the middle of those thoughts, I heard this soft scratching at my upstairs window. I looked over and was so surprised to see this little bird sitting right on the birdhouse outside. 

Whatʼs funny is, that birdhouse was a birthday gift from my girls, and at first, birds were coming ALL THE TIME. We loved watching them show up each day. But for weeks now, nothing.

Weʼre probably even pushing a month! I’d even told my family how sad I was that they’d stopped coming.

And then—on the exact morning I felt invisible and forgotten—that little bird showed up.

It instantly reminded me of something Jesus once said:

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)

Jesus was reminding me that if God cares deeply for the tiniest bird—something so small and often unnoticed—then how much more must He care for me, for you, His daughters? If He sees a sparrow, He absolutely sees me. He sees you.

And what really hit me was this: God can use the simplest signs to meet us right where we are. A whisper. A kind word. A song. Or even… a bird.

This morning, God didn’t show up with flashing lights or a loud voice—He showed up in a way that was quiet, but so personal. Through a tiny bird on a birdhouse that’s been empty for weeks. A bird that shouldn’t have been there, but was. At just the right time.

It made me pause and ask, Could this really be God?

And I believe the answer is yes.

Yes—He shows up in small, tender ways, because He knows the exact language our hearts need to hear.

Yes—He cares about the tiniest details of our lives.

Yes—He sees when we’re sad, or tired, or feeling overlooked.

And yes—He meets us with love, compassion, and gentleness.

So today, be encouraged by my story.

If you’re wondering where God is… if you’re questioning if He’s paying attention… remember the bird.

He may not show up how you expect, but He will show up.

And when He does, you’ll know—it’s Him. Loving you. 

Reminding you that you’re never forgotten.

OK, now… today’s episode is going to be a little bit different. 

So, we’re just a week away from starting our new series on the Armor of God, but before we dive into that, I want to spend a couple of episodes sharing some things that the Lord has been teaching me lately. 

I think they’ll speak to your heart too and I canʼt wait to share them. THEN, you can get excited— because on Sunday, May 4th, we’ll kick off our new Armor of God series with the first piece of armor: the Belt of Truth!

Okay, picture this.

I had just graduated from the University of Kansas. I was feeling so proud—first big-girl job out of college, and not just anywhere… but in Los Angeles. I know, right? Like, HELLOOO Hollywood! I imagined movie stars everywhere, shopping on Rodeo Drive, cool beach days, palm trees, and red carpet vibes. I had never even been to LA before, but it sounded SO glamorous.

And the job? It was a real “salary” job—which basically means I was getting paid a set amount of money every year, split into paychecks every couple of weeks. (Like, if someone makes $50,000 a year, that’s about $4,000 a month. That’s how a salary works—just a fancy grown-up word for your income.)

I was pumped. First job. First apartment. Living in a famous city.

But here’s the thing no one really tells you: just because something looks amazing, doesn’t mean it feels amazing.

I was this small-town Kansas girl suddenly dropped into this fast-paced, party-heavy, glam-obsessed world—and honestly? I was totally overwhelmed. The partying scene in LA was a lot. It kind of felt like college all over again—except on steroids.

And I was tired. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. Exhausted from chasing popularity and pretending everything was fine.

And this is where it gets interesting—right in the middle of all that noise, I started to feel something in my heart. God was calling me back to Him. But His voice?

It wasn’t loud or flashy like everything else around me. It was quiet. Gentle. Easy to miss if I wasn’t paying attention. I had to really stop and listen.

Eventually, I realized—LA wasn’t for me. It just wasn’t where I was supposed to be. So I packed up my things, said goodbye to palm trees and movie dreams, and moved to Chicago. New city, new season.

I got a job working as an assistant at the Crate & Barrel headquarters. (You know, the home decor store? Super cute stuff.)

And while I was grateful for the job, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I felt stuck. There was no room to grow, and the commute—35 miles each way from downtown Chicago to the suburbs—was draining. I was spending hours in traffic every day. I knew something had to change.

So I made a list.

A dream-job list.

I started praying and applying for jobs that matched it. One of my top priorities? Work in the city, where I lived. I wanted to feel like I was part of something, not just wasting time in traffic.

Within two weeks, I landed a new role—this time at a talent recruiting firm. It sounded exciting: working with entertainment clients, doing payroll, managing the office. And sure, there were some definite perks—I adored my coworkers and my boss.

Plus, no commute? YES PLEASE.

But about a year in, reality hit. I was doing way more than I’d signed up for—cleaning out nasty office fridges, ordering supplies, vacuuming.

And this is after four years of college and years in the workforce. I felt so overlooked. Like, “God, why am I here? Don’t You see me?”

But this time, I turned to Scripture. I leaned into my faith. Even when it felt like nothing was changing, I kept reading God’s promises and believing—He sees me.

And while I was doing all of that, I had this fun little side hobby.

A fashion blog.

(Okay, I know blogs sound ancient now. This was basically like a personal Instagram before Instagram existed.) I’d take pictures of my outfits, write little blurbs about where everything was from, and post it on my site.

It wasn’t a huge deal. But I LOVED it.

It gave me life.

Something creative, fun, and just me.

I didn’t know it at the time, but God was using that blog to do something really cool.

Here’s where the story takes a turn. Buckle up.

One day, I get a phone call from my Aunt Renae. She lived in Chicago too and was one of my closest friends. She’d been praying for me and knew I was struggling in this job. What I didn’t know?

She had been talking to some people she knew around the city—including a friend whose son-in-law worked at a big-time radio station: 101.9 The Mix.

She tells me, “Hey, my friend’s son-in-law saw your fashion blog. He wants to grab coffee with you.”

I was like, “Cool! Coffee sounds fun!” And I literally showed up in yoga pants and sneakers. 😅 What I didn’t realize was… this wasn’t just a coffee chat. It was basically a secret job interview for the Social Media Manager position at THE most popular radio show in Chicago.

But I didn’t know that. So I’m just chatting with him like, “What’s your favorite band? Got any kids?” Small talk.

He loved it. He loved that I was so real and down-to-earth. I met with him a couple more times, and then one day he calls and says, “We want you to come meet the CEO.” I was like… “Wait, what?! For what?”

And he says, “We want to offer you the Social Media Manager role. Not the assistant position—we want YOU to lead, and we’ll hire someone else to be your assistant.”

I was in shock. 

I hadn’t chased this job. I didn’t even know I was interviewing for it. And yet—God had opened this incredible door.

This job? It was a dream. 

I met celebrities.

I helped manage content for a huge morning show.

I was doing work that mattered.

It felt like everything had finally come together.

But here’s the thing I want you to really hear: I didn’t make it happen. God did.

When I felt unseen, He saw me. When I was stuck, He was working. Even when I had no clue what was going on—He was paving the way.

Girls, I tell you this story because I have to remind myself of it sometimes—especially on days when I feel discouraged or forgotten. Maybe you’re feeling that way too. Maybe you’ve had dreams that didn’t happen or friendships that hurt your heart. Maybe you’re wondering, “God, are You even paying attention?”

Let me tell you: YES. He is.

Even when you can’t see it, He’s moving. Even when it feels like nothing is happening—something is. He’s preparing something amazing for you.

Not because you’re perfect, or because you earn it, but because He LOVES you. So much.

Your job? Just stay close to Him. Be faithful. Trust Him, even when it’s hard. Hope, even when it’s scary.

I want to take you to a bible verse really quick before I wrap up this story.

If you have your Bibles, turn with me to Proverbs 13:12. I

n Proverbs chapter 13 we read, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Here’s what that means:When we hope for something—like a friendship to be restored or a dream to come true—and it just doesn’t happen, it can hurt.

It can make you feel frustrated or discouraged. Have you ever been there?

I know I have.

But that verse doesn’t stop there. It says, “a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” That’s when what you’ve been hoping for finally happens.

And when it does, it brings joy, peace, and energy—like life blooming again.

God met me in that waiting season. When things felt stuck and I wasn’t sure what was next, He was quietly working behind the scenes. I didn’t earn it or figure it all out on my own—He showed up because He loves me. And that’s what God does for all of us.

He doesn’t wait for us to be perfect. He loves us first.

So if you're waiting on something or feeling discouraged, remember—God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten. Keep trusting His timing. Stay the course.

Reflection Questions:

1. Is there something you’re hoping or praying for that hasn’t happened yet? How does that make you feel?

   
   

2. Have you ever seen God show up in surprising ways?

   
   

3. How can you stay close to God while you wait?

   
   

Ok, now, I mentioned earlier that I want to take the next two episodes to share a few things that the Lord is teaching because I think we can all really benefit from some of the things has been revealing to me over the last month or so. 

First, a lesson on Doubt. 

Let’s have a real moment.

Maybe you’ve been around church your whole life — youth group, Bible camp, maybe even homeschool or Christian school — but deep down, you still wonder:

“Do I actually believe all of this?”

Or maybe:

“I don’t feel close to Jesus like other people say they do… does that mean I don’t really have faith?”

Or even:

“Jonah in a fish? Red Sea splitting? Really?”

If that’s you — you are not alone.

If any of those thoughts have ever swirled around in your head — this episode is for you.

Because you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re not too far from God.

In fact — get this — even someone who grew up close to Jesus doubted if He was really the Savior.

Let me introduce you to a man named John the Baptist.

John & Jesus: Not Just a Ministry Duo — They Were Family

John wasn’t just some random prophet who popped up in the Bible.He and Jesus were actually relatives — most likely cousins (Luke 1:36). And not only that — their stories are deeply connected from before they were even born!

In Luke 1, we learn that John’s mom, Elizabeth, and Jesus’ mom, Mary, were both miraculously pregnant at the same time. When Mary came to visit Elizabeth, baby John literally jumped in her womb because he sensed the presence of Jesus. (Luke 1:41)

Like… imagine that! These two boys — born months apart — grew up with connected callings. John’s whole mission in life was to prepare people for Jesus.

In Luke 3, John starts preaching and baptizing people, getting them ready for the Messiah. And then one day, Jesus shows up. John says: “Look! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” – John 1:29

He knows Jesus is the one.He even says, “I have seen and testified that this is God’s Chosen One.” – John 1:34.

He baptizes Jesus.

He hears the voice of God from heaven.

He sees the Holy Spirit descend like a dove. (Matthew 3:16-17)

Like girl… if anyone was certain about Jesus, it was John.

But then… things changed.

When Life Gets Hard, Doubt Creeps In

Fast forward to Matthew 11. John is in prison. Why? Because he stood up to a corrupt king, and now he’s stuck in a dark, lonely place — unsure of what’s going to happen next.

He starts wondering…

“If Jesus is really the Savior, why hasn’t He rescued me?”“Is He actually who I thought He was?”“Did I get it wrong?”

So he sends some of his friends to ask Jesus directly: “Are You the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” – Matthew 11:3

Read that again. This is John the Baptist.

The one who recognized Jesus from the start.

The one who lived to point others to Him.

And even he is doubting.

Jesus' Response: Grace, Not Shame

Now, pause with me here.

What do you think Jesus could’ve said?

“John, seriously? After all this time?”“Where’s your faith?”“You should know better!”

But instead… Jesus answers with gentleness and proof.

“Go back and report to John what you hear and see:The blind receive sight, the lame walk,those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear,the dead are raised,and the Good News is proclaimed to the poor.” – Matthew 11:4-5

Why does this matter?

Because Jesus is quoting Isaiah 35 and 61 — the exact prophecies that spoke of what the Messiah would do.

He doesn’t just say, “Yes, I’m the one.”He says, “Look around. I’m fulfilling every prophecy — just like Scripture said I would.”

Jesus didn’t shame John’s doubt — He answered it. With truth. With compassion.

And then He says something powerful: “Blessed is the one who does not stumble on account of Me.” – Matthew 11:6. That’s His way of saying: “Even when you don’t understand what I’m doing… keep trusting Me.”“Don’t fall away just because I’m working differently than you expected.”

Girl… wow. Let’s talk about what this means for us.

When You Doubt — You're in Good Company

Here’s the truth:

Even if you’ve grown up in church.Even if you’ve seen God answer prayers before.Even if you’ve had a big “God moment” in your past…You’re still human. And you will still have questions.

And Jesus? He’s not afraid of your doubts.

He welcomes your “Are You really there?” prayers.He meets you when you’re honest.He doesn’t push you away for wondering — He gently invites you closer.

In Jude 1:22, we’re told: “Be merciful to those who doubt.” Jesus lives that out perfectly.

Real Talk: What Should You Do With Doubt?

Let’s be real — what do you do when you're not sure if you believe?

1. Don’t hide it. Bring it to Jesus.

John could’ve stayed quiet. But instead, he sent people to ask Jesus.You can do the same — talk to Him. Journal it out. Whisper it in prayer. He’s listening.

“Come now, let us reason together…” – Isaiah 1:18

Jesus actually invites us to bring our questions.

2. Look at what God has already done.

Jesus pointed to His actions — people being healed, set free, made whole.

Look back in your own life. Has God brought you peace? Given you comfort? Sent people at just the right time? Helped you grow?

Doubt starts to fade when we remember what God has done.

3. Keep seeking. Don’t stop showing up.

Faith doesn’t mean never doubting — it means choosing to keep going, even with the doubt.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” – James 4:8

Just like John — stay faithful, even in the hard places.

Final Thought: Jesus Doesn’t Need You to Be Perfect — Just Present

If John the Baptist — the guy who baptized Jesus, heard God's voice, saw the dove — if he had doubts?

Then you are more than allowed to have questions.

You’re not failing your faith by wrestling with it. You’re not weak for needing to ask hard things. Jesus is right there with you, saying: “Look around. I’m still moving. I’m still healing. I’m still fulfilling every promise. Don’t give up just because I’m working in a way you didn’t expect.”

So girl, whatever questions you’re holding in your heart right now — bring them. Jesus isn’t scared. He’s near. And He’s not done with your story.

Ok, last and finally for todayʼs episode, I want to address this concept of Godʼs voice versus our own voice.

I get this question A LOT.

And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT!

So, I wanted to rope you in to my world a little bit and share with you how God has been walking me through this challenge in my own life. 

Have you ever prayed and then thought, Was that God speaking to me? Or was that just my own thoughts? Yeah… me too. All the time.

Lately, I’ve been asking God something really specific:“Lord, if this is You speaking—really You—can You show me in a way that I’ll understand?

Something familiar.

Something that stands out.

Something that repeats or connects with what other people are saying too?

And guess what?

He has been.

Not always in big, flashy ways. But in quiet, repeated, and personal ways.

Through conversations with people I trust. Through Scripture that pops up again and again.

Even through things like a bird at my window—yep, really. It might sound small, but it meant everything to me in that moment.

Here’s what I’ve learned: God speaks to each of us in unique ways, but there are some really good, biblical ways we can learn to listen and recognize His voice.

Let’s look at a few:

1. God’s voice lines up with His Word: If something you’re hearing doesn’t match what the Bible says—it’s not God. Period.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”—2 Timothy 3:16

So if you’re wondering if that thought or feeling is from Him—ask yourself: Does this match what I know is true in the Bible?

2. God’s voice brings peace, not fear or confusion: God’s voice might challenge us, but it doesn’t cause panic or chaos.

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.”—1 Corinthians 14:33

So if you’re feeling freaked out or unsure, pause and pray. Ask Him for clarity and calm.

3. God often confirms His message more than once: God knows we need reminders! He’s patient and kind. Sometimes, He repeats Himself through a friend, a verse, a song, or even something you see on your timeline.

“By the mouth of two or three witnesses every matter shall be established.”—2 Corinthians 13:1

So pay attention to repetition. It could be God's way of helping you really notice.

4. God speaks through people we trust: Sometimes, God uses mentors, leaders, or friends to speak truth right when we need it.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”—Proverbs 15:22

If something you feel God is saying lines up with what your trusted people are saying too—that’s a good sign.

So here’s your challenge this week, sweet friend: When you pray, don’t just ask God to answer—ask Him to answer in a way that your heart recognizes. Ask for His voice to be clear. Ask for peace. Ask for repetition. Ask for alignment with His Word. And trust… He’s not trying to confuse you. He wants to be known by you.

Because here’s the truth: You’re not too young to hear God’s voice. He speaks to you. He sees you. And He loves how you’re learning to listen.

💭 Think about this: What are some ways God might be speaking to you that you haven’t noticed before?

Want to journal about it?

Maybe even ask a friend or a parent how they know it’s God when they feel Him speaking?

He’s not far away—He’s closer than you think.

So now that we’ve talked about some of the ways God speaks—through His Word, through peace, through repetition, and through people—we’re going to take it one step further.

Here’s what I want you to really think about today:

How has God spoken to you before?

Maybe it was in a quiet moment during worship.

Maybe it was through a verse that kept popping up over and over.

Maybe it was through a moment in nature that made you feel seen, like how He used a simple little bird to encourage my heart.

Maybe it was through a conversation with a friend, or something your small group leader said that just hit different.

Those moments?

That’s God.

That’s His voice.

And here’s the best part—you can ask Him to speak like that again.

God wants you to recognize His voice.

And it’s okay to ask Him:

“God, will You show me again in a way I know is You?”

“Will You speak to me like You did last time?”

“Help me not miss it.”

Remember what Jesus said in John 10:27?

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

You are one of His sheep. You’re part of His flock. That means you can hear His voice. And the more you recognize how He’s spoken to you before, the easier it becomes to hear Him again.

So here’s what I want you to do this week:

Grab a journal or notebook and write down:

1. A time you know God was speaking to you.

2. How it made you feel.

3. What was going on around you.

4. What helped you know it was Him.

   
   

Then—ask Him to speak again in one of those ways.Maybe it’s through a verse. Maybe it’s a worship song. Maybe it’s a random but perfect moment. Whatever it is—He’s listening, and He loves when you ask to hear from Him.

Let this be your prayer this week: “God, I want to hear from You. Speak in a way my heart knows. Help me to recognize Your voice in the middle of my everyday life.”

Girls, you don’t need to have all the answers.

You just need to be open. God is speaking—sometimes softly, sometimes clearly, but always lovingly.

And remember: If He spoke before… He’ll speak again.

Alright, my beautiful, bold, Jesus-loving girls—whew! 

What. An. Episode.

I mean… did we just go from heartbreak and doubt to birdhouse miracles and boujee job offers?

YEP, we sure did!

And through every twist in my story, here’s the one thing I want you to remember: even when faith feels funky, even when your heart is hurting or confused or quiet—God still sees you.

He’s still writing your story. He loves showing up in small, sweet ways to remind you that you are not forgotten.

Now before you go skipping off to snack time or scroll TikTok (I see you), I need to ask you for a major favor—no actually, more like a girlfriend-level mission.

If you loved this episode or felt even the tiniest little spark in your heart today, can you do something kinda fun for me?

Head over to our YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, and hit that follow button—because babe, we’re just getting started and you do not want to miss what’s coming. And I really want to grow this space with girls who are honest, hopeful, and hilariously real—like YOU.

Bonus! If you follow me on any of those platforms, take a screenshot, DM it to me on Insta, and guess what? I’m gonna send you a seriously stunning pair of earrings (yes, for FREE) because hello—loyalty deserves a little sparkle.

And… wanna know what those earrings look like? Um, duh. Run over to instagram, where I literally JUST posted a picture of these amazzzzzzing earrings that COULD BE YOURS, FOR FREE! 

So don’t forget: screenshot, send, sparkle.

Love you big. Can’t wait to hear how God speaks to you this week—and girl, don’t be shy… my DMs are always open.

See you next episode but until then—stay wild, stay worshipful, and stay so sure that God’s not done with your story.