The Gospel According to Self: When ‘Be True to Yourself’ Gets Twisted

If I asked your TikTok feed for advice, it would probably say something like, “Girl, just do you. Follow your heart. Protect your peace. Don’t let anyone tell you who to be.”

And honestly, that sounds really good. It sounds freeing. It sounds empowering. It sounds like confidence.

But here’s the thing we don’t slow down enough to ask: what if doing you isn’t actually what’s best for you? Culture makes self-expression feel like the ultimate form of freedom. Like if no one tells you what to do and you just follow whatever you’re feeling in the moment, then you’ll finally feel happy, secure, and whole. But freedom without truth doesn’t actually lead anywhere good. Most of the time, it just turns into chaos—chaos that looks cute, sounds confident, and feels exciting at first.

And we live in a world that is obsessed with authenticity. Everyone wants you to be yourself. Be bold. Be confident. Be different. Be whatever vibe you’re feeling that day.

And some of that is good—God did make you unique on purpose.

But when your heart becomes the boss of your life, things start to shift in ways you don’t always notice right away.

Your mood starts deciding your value. Your followers start deciding your confidence.

Your comfort starts deciding your choices. And suddenly, the little things—your outfit, your aesthetic, your online persona—aren’t just fun anymore. They’re quietly running your life. The tricky part is that most of the time, you don’t even realize it’s happening. You’re just scrolling, reacting, comparing, and trying to keep up. And somewhere in all of that, the message gets twisted.

Instead of feeling free, you feel tired. You feel anxious. You feel like something is missing, but you can’t quite explain what it is. And I want you to hear this clearly right now: you are enough.Just not by culture’s definition of enough.

So today, we’re going to talk about self—but not the TikTok version of self. Not aesthetic self. Not main-character-energy self. We’re talking about real self. God’s version of self. The kind that doesn’t change with trends, comments, or likes. The kind that knows its worth even when your heart or the world is screaming otherwise.

Hey girl, welcome back. I’m really glad you’re here.

Whether you’ve been listening since episode one or this is literally your first time pressing play, this space is for you. This is a place where we talk honestly about faith, life, and all the confusing, messy, growing-up stuff that no one really prepares you for.

Last episode, we talked about worldview—the lens you see life through. That lens shapes how you see yourself, how you scroll, how you react, how you handle friendships, pressure, and decisions.

Today, we’re zooming in on the lens most teens spend all their time adjusting: the self lens. Culture talks a lot about self-love and authenticity, but sometimes, it’s not love—it’s a lie dressed in cute graphics and viral dances. And sometimes, it’s not authenticity—it’s a trap.

We’re going to expose that trap, share some real stories, and walk through what it looks like to see yourself through Jesus’ lens—the only one that actually sets you free.

Let’s get real. Most of us are living like the world revolves around us. Not in a cute, self-love way, but full-on me, me, me.

Think about it:

    •    Your mood decides your worth. Happy = life is amazing. Sad = life is terrible.

    •    Your confidence? Based on likes, comments, or followers.

    •    Your choices? Often about what serves you, not what’s right or kind.

Sound familiar? That’s what I mean by the gospel according to self. Culture makes it look fun, like freedom. “Be yourself. Express yourself. Follow your vibe.” But real talk?

That “freedom” is a trap. When life revolves around you, it’s exhausting, empty, and—trust me—lonely. It’s narcissism dressed up as authenticity. And the sneaky part? Most teens don’t even notice it… until the constant comparing, scrolling, and reacting leaves you anxious, tired, and questioning if you’re enough.

Here’s a little secret: I’ve lived this.

And let me tell you—it’s like a sugar rush that crashes hard. High school? I cared about popularity, attention, and image. My worth? Measured by who noticed me, who talked about me, who “liked” me online. College? Freedom, independence, comfort. I thought I was free. I thought I was independent. But inside? Hollow. Empty. Tired. Chasing what served me left me lonely.

And here’s the thing: narcissistic living feels good at first. Fun, even. But it’s like drinking salt water—you’ll always end up thirsty. Let me give you a peek into one of my days back then: I’d wake up, scroll through Instagram first thing. Check who posted what, who liked what, who looked cooler than me. Then I’d get dressed to impress someone—not for myself, really, but to feel noticed.

Lunch was less about hanging with friends and more about being seen. And every night? I’d fall asleep exhausted… and still insecure. Does that sound familiar? Maybe it does. Maybe it hits a little too close to home. Because culture tells us this is freedom—but it’s really a trap.

Now let’s make it practical. Imagine this:

Your friend invites you to hang out. You really don’t feel like it. Your heart says, “But what’s in it for me? I’m tired. I don’t want to.” That’s self-absorption whispering in your ear. Subtle. Tempting. Normal. And culture will cheer you on: “Do you, girl. Follow your vibe.” But here’s the flip: what if you go anyway? Encourage your friend, serve them, show up. Outward-centered living. Jesus-centered living. And here’s the best part: you might feel something social media cannot give—real joy, real connection, real purpose.

The kind that sticks.

Now let’s try another: imagine you have a group project, and everyone is just picking roles that benefit themselves. You take the less fun job because it helps the team. At first, it might feel annoying, right? But by the end, everyone appreciates you—and you actually feel proud. That’s outward-centered living in action. And it feels different than scrolling for likes—it’s real.

Here’s where Scripture steps in. Let’s start with Philippians 2:3-4:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Pause for a sec. I love this because it’s not just a rule—it’s a roadmap. Stop measuring your worth by yourself or your followers. Start noticing others. Step back. Care about what matters beyond your comfort zone.

Now, Matthew 23:12:

“For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

It’s like God is saying: trying to make yourself the center of life? It won’t last. But when you choose humility—serving, caring, stepping back—you rise in ways that actually matter.

And finally, Micah 6:8:

“What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

God is basically saying: “I didn’t make you to be self-centered. I made you to live outward, to love, to serve, and to walk humbly with Me.” See how the story flows here?First we notice the trap, then Scripture shows us the path out. Alright girl, listen up.

Culture is screaming “Do you! Do you! Do you!” like it’s the ultimate life hack. But here’s the plot twist: doing just you—all the time, for yourself—will never fill you up. Never. It’s like trying to sip from an empty cup. Jesus flips the script. He says: “Lose yourself, find life.” Not boring, not theoretical—real. When you stop chasing likes, followers, or approval, and start looking outward, that’s when life starts to sparkle. Real friendships.

Real confidence. Real joy. Real freedom that actually sticks. So here’s the challenge this week: This week, pick one thing that doesn’t serve you but serves someone else:

    •    Encourage a friend who’s having a rough day.

    •    Help a sibling or parent without being asked.

    •    Do a small act of kindness that doesn’t benefit you.

Notice how your heart feels. Outward-centered living feels weird at first—but it’s soul-filling, freeing, and joy-bringing.

Let’s pray! 

Jesus, 

Help me see beyond myself. Teach me to step out of self-absorption and live outward. Help me love, serve, and walk humbly with You. 

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Remember: the gospel according to self will drain you. The gospel according to Jesus? It’s life-giving, soul-hugging, joy-exploding, vibe-approved goodness. And trust me… that’s a glow-up you’ll actually want to chase. So go out there. Step out of the “me, me, me” trap. Choose Jesus. Love big. Laugh loud. Serve well. And watch your life light up in ways culture can’t even touch!