Dating for Christian Teen Girls: Guard Your Heart Without Rushing into Marriage

Okay… let’s just rip the bandaid off. 

Can you date someone just for fun—even if you know you’re not going to marry them? 

You know, like, he’s cute, you vibe, and you think, “Why not?” 

Honestly, I get it. 

The world around us makes it seem like dating is just for fun, or like it’s some kind of checklist: date in high school, college, maybe a little post-grad, then you meet “the one.” 

But here’s the thing—dating isn’t bad. 

But it’s never just about fun, and your heart matters way more than you think.

So let’s slow down, take a deep breath, and chat about what it really means to date with purpose—even as a teen. 

And before we dive in, I have to give a shoutout to my girl Yasmin, who sent in this amazing question: “Can I date as a Christian teen even if I’m not planning to get married right now?” 

Yasmin, girl, you are not alone in wondering this. I promise, today we’re going to unpack it together.

Before we jump into stories and scenarios, let’s talk about the Bible because it gives us the map for navigating relationships—especially when you’re tempted to just “go with the flow.”

First, Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” That means your heart is precious. 

Even casual dating can open it up in ways you might not even realize. 

Feelings sneak in, and suddenly your heart is racing for reasons you didn’t plan.

Then there’s 1 Corinthians 10:31, which says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 

And yes, that includes dating. 

Ask yourself: Is this relationship helping me love God more, or is it pulling me away? 

And 2 Timothy 2:22 adds another layer: “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 

This is your gentle reminder that it’s okay to step back if a relationship is leading you into temptation, confusion, or insecurity.

Finally, 2 Corinthians 6:14 gives us the “equally yoked” principle: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?” 

Basically, if someone isn’t helping you grow closer to God, think twice about letting them have a front-row seat to your heart.

Okay, now I want to get real personal, because this is where the story gets juicy. I dated a variety of guys from junior year of high school through college and even after. Some were sweet, some were… well, let’s just say they taught me lessons the hard way. Each one helped me figure out what I did and didn’t want in a relationship, what I could handle, and what I absolutely could not.

Then I met my now-husband. We hit it off, had that magical connection, and before I knew it, six months had passed. He proposed, and I said yes. But here’s the thing—I said yes before I was actually ready. 

Not because I didn’t want to marry him—trust me, I did—but because deep down, I had some lingering baggage, some unresolved feelings, and, frankly, a need for control that I hadn’t worked through yet. And let’s just say, he had a strong personality too. Put us in a room together, and sparks fly—but not always the good kind.

A few months later, I called off the engagement. We didn’t talk for almost three months. It was painful, awkward, and, honestly, a little embarrassing. But over that time, I grew. I learned how to honor my gut, how to listen to God in the middle of my heartache, and how to slow down even when everything around me felt like it was moving fast. 

Eventually, we reconnected, and about a year later, we married. 

Fifteen years in now, and I can honestly say that those lessons from dating—and even calling off the engagement—shaped me in ways I needed before walking down the aisle.

Here’s the point, girls: dating gives you experience. It teaches you about yourself, your boundaries, what you value, and what you need in a forever partner. But it also requires patience, wisdom, and trust in God’s timing. And your gut? Listen to it. Seriously.

Now let’s bring in a biblical example because, yes, history actually repeats itself. Samson.

Strong, chosen by God, set apart from birth. And yet… he had a pattern of getting into relationships with women who did not share his faith or values. Enter Delilah.

Delilah was charming, manipulative, and, yes, beautiful. The Philistines bribed her to find out the secret to Samson’s strength. And even when it was obvious she couldn’t be trusted, Samson stayed. Why? 

Because he liked how she made him feel in the moment. His heart, unchecked and unguarded, led him into a relationship that cost him everything—his strength, his freedom, and eventually nearly his life.

Here’s the lesson: attraction alone is not enough. Feelings are powerful, but they need to be guided by purpose and God’s wisdom. Proverbs 4:23 again: guard your heart. 

Let your choices reflect what’s true, pure, and honoring to God, not just what feels exciting in the moment.

Let’s play this out in real life. Picture this:

Scenario 1: Dating for Attention

You start dating a guy because he’s cute and gives you attention. At first, it’s fun. But over time, you find yourself skipping youth group, hiding messages, compromising your values. It’s easy to get swept up, right?

How to handle it: Step back and ask yourself: is this relationship helping me grow closer to God, or is it pulling me away? Set clear boundaries. Protect your heart. Remember Philippians 4:8: focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Let your relationship decisions reflect those things.

Scenario 2: Casual Dating Leading to Drama

Maybe you “fake date” someone for fun. You’re just testing the waters, but someone catches feelings. Now you’re in a mess of jealousy, guilt, and awkward conversations. Friendships get strained. Group chats blow up.

How to handle it: Be honest from the start. Clear communication prevents a lot of heartbreak. Acknowledge feelings, but don’t pretend the relationship is more than it is. And remember Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Approach the situation with honesty, integrity, and a heart for peace.

Scenario 3: Staying Single and Feeling Left Out

You’re single, everyone else seems to be dating, and you feel like you’re missing out.

How to handle it: Focus on growth. Serve others. Build friendships. Explore hobbies. Learn what you want in a future relationship. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When you put God first, He guides your timing and your choices in love.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

Before we wrap up, let’s pause and reflect:

1. Why do I really want to date right now?

   
   

2. Is this relationship helping me grow in faith—or pulling me away?

   
   

3. Would I be okay if this person were in my life forever—or do I already feel like it has an expiration date?

   
   

4. If I had to hide parts of this from my parents, mentor, or pastor, should I even be in it?

   
   

Dating is a big deal. Not because it’s bad—but because your heart is worth protecting. God isn’t trying to take the fun away—He’s helping you build something better than just butterflies and breakups.

You can date as a teen without planning marriage, sure—but should you? That’s the question.

The better question is: “What kind of love am I actually waiting for?” Because the right relationship at the wrong time… is still the wrong choice. Give yourself grace. Trust your gut.

Trust God’s timing. Your heart is precious, and He’s writing your story—even the love story part.

God,

Thank You for loving us better than anyone ever could. 

Help us guard our hearts, stay close to You, and make choices that honor You.

Give us wisdom, patience, and peace as we wait on Your timing. 

In Jesus Name,

Amen.

Before you go, here’s something to hold onto: your heart isn’t a game, and it’s worth protecting. Notice the moments when it’s tempting to say “yes” just to fit in, and don’t be afraid to say “no” when something doesn’t honor you or God.

DM me, leave a comment, or share your story—we might even feature it in a future episode.

And hey, pass this episode along to your bestie, your ride-or-die BFF, or even that frenemy who could use a little truth bomb. You are deeply loved, wonderfully made, and fully capable of making choices that reflect who God created you to be.

Now go rock your heart like it’s the hottest accessory in town—and let God handle the rest—because your shine is impossible to ignore!