EPISODE 4: Why Am I So Lonely + Evolution & Salvation

Happy Tuesday, sweet girls!

I am so thrilled to be back here with all of you today! Before we get started I wanted to start todayʼs episode off with a little story about my own life.

I think I have mentioned before, but I believe so deeply in 3 things, in this order.

1. Biblical Wisdom = The Truth! Okay, girls, this is HUGE! The Bible is like the ultimate guidebook for everything. It’s our number one source of truth, and it’s the only thing we can totally trust, like, 100%. I’m talking no room for second guesses! People can tell you their opinions, and you can totally love your fam and friends, but when it comes down to what’s true, the Bible is where we need to go. It’s the ultimate temperature check for everything in life.

   
   

2. The Power of Your Testimony! I’m totally obsessed with this. Like, OBSESSED. Every single one of us has a story that can change lives. I just turned 40 (I know, shocking), and one of the BIGGEST things I’ve learned in all these years is that everything we go through — whether it’s the highs that make you feel like you’re on top of the world, or those tough, sad moments that feel like a total low — is for a reason. Your story isn’t just for YOU, girl! It’s for EVERYONE around you. If you share how God helped you through it all, you’re helping someone else feel seen and understood. You might not even know it, but your story has power!

   
   

   Never forget that!

3. The Art of Telling Your Story Okay, so here’s the thing: I once had this idea for a book (yes, like, an actual book!) that I tried to pitch to a publisher, but the deal didn’t work out. Bummer, right? But you know what? The lesson I learned was SO worth it. I realized that my story is MY story. No one else’s.

   
   

   When you learn to tell your story in a way that makes people feel what you’ve felt — like bringing them into the sights, sounds, and feels of your experience — that’s when you can really make an impact! Storytelling isn’t just about talking, it’s about connecting and making others feel seen.

   
   

   So, if you can share your story like that, you have the potential to make a big difference in someone’s life. And girls, God wants us to share our stories. It’s one of the coolest ways to show His love. 

   
   

In hindsight, I think one of the biggest reasons the book publisher didn’t pick up my idea was because I wasn’t really sharing my own story.

I was telling other people’s stories instead. Yea…I had all this info and advice I was super excited to share, but it was missing something BIG — my own heart and personal experiences. It was all facts and tips, but without the real me in it.

And trust me, when you leave out your own story, it’s like making a smoothie without the fruit—it just doesn’t work!

So, here’s the big thing I want you to remember: these three things — Biblical wisdom, the power of YOUR testimony, and knowing how to tell your story — are the secret sauce to sharing God’s love and spreading His light to others.

When you open up, you never know how many people you could be helping with just your words. I know it can be scary sometimes, but your testimony (aka your story) is a gift, and it’s meant to be shared!

Now, with all that said, I promised you a personal story...Let’s get into it!

I was lonely a lot in elementary school. In fact from kindergarten to 5th grade, I changed schools locally 3 times. Can you imagine how hard that was?

With every new school, there were new norms, new people, new teachers, new rules, and worst of all, new friend groups, of which I did not organically fit into any of them.

Obviously, with every school change came the “new girl” image. It was hard, really hard.

To make matters worse, I was in the gifted program. So Not only was I the new girl, but quickly people also began to label me as the nerdy, smart new girl.

Now, if I am being honest, the loneliness wasnʼt exclusively from the hopping around so much. Instead, I think the loneliness was more that I never felt like I belong anywhere. I mentioned this in my trailer, that both my middle school and high school were characterized by a lot of pretending to be someone I wasnʼt.

Shapeshifting or morphing into someone I thought others wanted me to be… and I think that season started in all of the changed I went through in elementary.

I think the biggest takeaway I took from that season of my life was, put up walls and fiercely, no matter the cost, guard your heart. I learned almost immediately, that I would have to thicken up my skin because kids were mean and they were never welcoming or kind to “the new kid.”

They just weren’t.

This brought with it many isolated recesses and lunch tables. This also meant just never accruing a really solid group of friends.

I can remember this one time in particular, I was now at my 3rd elementary school, it was called Lincoln Elementary, which by the way, had a super lame reputation in my hometown, it was like one of the lesser schools - so that obviously didnʼt help.

But we had all been dismissed for recess and the kids quickly gathered in the center of the blacktop paved pad for an intense game of kickball. Now I think its relevant to mention here, that I was quite the athlete back then.

Not only was I a dancer and a gymnast, but I also had gone through seasons of basketball, soccer and volleyball and just had a natural athleticism about me. If anyone at the new school knew me, they wouldʼve known that, but of course, they didn’t.

This made me even more angsty when it came time for picking teams.

They called off the two most popular kids to be the captains, and one by one, they started calling off names. Im sure you can guess where this was going.

Not only was I the last one picked, but then when they got to me, both captains argued over who HAD to take me, like not only did they not want me, no one on their team wanted me and it was clearly unanimous that I was seen as a total loss, such an upset to whichever team got stuck with me.

One by one, as each name was called, my spirit, my soul, was breaking apart, with each next name. I can literally remember so vividly, its like If my worth was being measured on a scale, it started at maybe an 8, but by the time all the names were called, and I was burden both teams were left with, I was now in the negatives.

You guys, the pain that I felt from this trivial game of kickball and picking teams has stuck with me for almost 30 years now.

Now, why do I tell you this?

Because, as I said at the beginning of my story. I was a lonely kid.

Especially in elementary but even more so in middle school and high school.

The truth is, I just got better at pretending and hiding it. In fact, I became professional at appearing “fine.” So much so, that I think deep down, I even had myself convinced I was fine.

But the lesson that I took away from that day back in 4th grade was that, at whatever the cost, you need to build up a fortress of walls around yourself so you are never hurt on that level again.

What this meant for me in aftermath of that 1 sad day in 1995, was that my loneliness was never going to be subject to anyone else ever again. 

A simpler way of saying that, is I because pretty stinking hard on the outside. Exuding a tough girl exterior, but on the inside, I was sad, alone and left fending for myself more often than Iʼd liked.

The way this played out over the next handful of years was I never had any close friends and really wasnʼt capable of fostering a best friend until late in high school, and that was more as a byproduct of my a girl that my brother was dating than a naturally formed friendship.

Just circumstance really. 

This made my life really hard you guys. Even through my adult life. 

Only in the last handful of years, as I have been in and out of counseling, have I realized the impact that this had on my life. This one small incident at recess some 30 years ago.

Some of you might be saying, well where is the happy ending?

The silver lining.

Todayʼs story isnʼt one of those stories.

I share todays story simply because I want you to feel seen in your loneliness. In your feelings of isolation and being alone.

Maybe even in your sadness.

For me, even though I grew up in a Christian home, I donʼt really know how tangible turning to Jesus in times of sadness, was taught to me.

So instead of feeling like I had a partner in this season, I felt even more alone. Like I was flying solo, taking on the complexities of the world all by myself. And unfortunately, that resulted in a really “hard” person.

Someone who almost became cynical over time.

A pessimist.

Always expecting the worst in people.

Preparing myself for doom and gloom, expecting that everyone in my life would be mean and that no one was allowed to get close to me. 

For me, I didnʼt really begin to sort through this hardness of heart until I was adult.

So I guess, I partially share this story today because I donʼt want your hearts to become hard like mine did. If Iʼm being honest, itʼs a really sad reality of my upbringing. How being excluded and left out and never being accepted into any “friend” groups created such a bitter and resentful, expecting nothing person.

Who spend the next 25-30 years approaching all relationships with super low standards and expectations and probably left sabotaging a lot of those friendships because I was so closed off and had such a hard heart.

So, as we dive into our first question today, I just want you to know that I see you. And I have a profound amount of empathy if you are going through a season of loneliness. It isnʼt easy. And you do feel super alone.

And honestly, I get it when you say, WHERE ARE YOU GOD? I feel so alone and you feel SO FAR AWAY. But as we begin to unpack this more, I want to encourage you to really let my answer soak in today and challenge yourself more than anything, to not allow yourself to put up walls in the midst of your loneliness.

Putting up walls around your heart, will never serve you. It may feel safe in the here and now, but I promise, it will only cause more problems down the road. So listen in today, soften your heart to even receive what I have to say about our seasons of loneliness today and know, I am always here.

Youʼre never alone.

If nothing else, you have a place here. 

Alright, gals, let’s jump right in!

We're still rolling with our Identity series today, and this question definitely pulls at the heartstrings.

It’s a big one, and I totally get how you’re feeling. So, question #1 is...

"I hear all the time, especially at church, that God is always with me. They even quote that verse, 'God will never leave you or forsake you.' But if that’s true, why do I still feel SO alone? I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing—praying, reading the Bible—but I still so lonely."

Ooof!!

Okay, sweet girls, I hear you loud and clear.

This is such a real, raw, and HONEST question.

Loneliness is tough, especially when you feel like you’re doing all the “right” things—praying, reading your Bible, staying close to God—and STILL feel like you're walking through this world on your own.

First, I just want to say, YOU'RE NOT ALONE in feeling this way.

It happens to all of us at some point. So don’t feel bad or guilty.

Feeling lonely doesn’t mean you're doing something wrong! But let’s talk about why you might be feeling this way, and how to flip it with a little bit of wisdom from the Bible.

Second, Satan loves to mess with our minds, especially when we feel lonely. He’ll take those feelings of loneliness and make us feel guilty for even having them! He’ll make us believe that we’re the ones doing something wrong, or that maybe God doesn’t really care about us.

The enemy is super tricky, sis, and he loves to twist our thoughts until we start doubting everything. But here’s where you get to fight back!

Now, here’s the thing: Our feelings, as real as they are, are not always the best guides.

The Bible even tells us that our hearts can be super tricky sometimes! In Jeremiah 17:9, it says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Yikes, right?!

Your heart, aka your feelings, can lead you astray if you let them be the boss of you.

Emotions are like those “check engine” lights that pop up in your car.

When the light comes on, it’s not that your car is broken beyond repair; it’s just a signal that something deeper needs attention, like maybe you need an oil change or some other kind of fix.

Your feelings are kinda like that—they’re warning signs that something deeper is going on, but they don’t always tell the full story.

That’s why it’s SO important to not just trust your feelings, but to pause and reflect on what might be at the root of that loneliness. Is it stress from school? Friend drama? Or maybe feeling disconnected from God in the midst of all the changes in your life?

Whatever it is, it’s okay to ask those hard questions and dig a little deeper.

But don’t dig by yourself—God wants to be in that process with you.

And honestly sis, maybe alongside a trusted friend or even a parent. 

This really isnʼt something you want to traipse through alone. These feelings are so real and can be super heavy.

Of course, invite God into that space, OPENLY and HONESTLY.

He can handle all your messy emotions, maybe youʼre even feeling anger, that he isnʼt showing up for you in the way you hoped or prayed.

But also, having someone to lock arms with as you navigate this loneliness, will anchor you even more. 

Guys, God never intended for us to do life alone. In fact, we find ALL throughout the Bible, scripture pointing us back to community.

In Genesis 1, the very beginning of the Bible, God reveals that everything that He created was very good, except for 1 thing. That one thing was isolation and being alone. He said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

So invite someone into this with you.

This isnʼt meant to be dealt with alone. 

Now letʼs get back to some scripture.

In Psalm 34:18, it says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

This is HUGE.

Even when you feel alone, God is so near to you.

He’s close to you in those moments when you feel like no one else is around. In fact, He’s holding you in those lonely moments and wants to walk through it with you. You are NOT alone, even if it feels that way.

Now, I know I’ve shared all the warm and fuzzy feels so now it’s time to get real. Let’s talk about some real, practical steps that you can take every day to get through this lonely season. And honestly? A big part of that is getting in Satan’s face and telling him, “Nope, not today!”

1. Take Every Thought Captive. Guys, this is a super important biblical discipline that we need to learn how to do ASAP. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to, "Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." I know this feels super abstract. What the heck does it mean to take thoughts captive?

Well, when you feel like loneliness is creeping in or you feel those lies of guilt and shame, stop for a second. Hold up. Take a deep breath, and check your thoughts. Is what you’re feeling lining up with the truth of God’s Word?

Or is it a lie from the enemy? If it’s a lie, you have the power to reject it. 

For example: If you feel like "God doesn’t care about me," you can stand tall and say, "No! That’s a lie!" And then remind yourself of Romans 8:39, which says, "Nothing can separate me from the love of God." 

Boom. That’s the truth.

This is a real life example of taking thoughts captive. Itʼs pausing in the moment. Assessing the passing through and lining it up against Godʼs word. If itʼs in line with scripture, than you can be sure itʼs not from the enemy.

But if it stand in opposition to the truth of Godʼs word, then you get to audibly renounce that lie and speak biblical truth over it. Satan cannot stand in the face of biblical truth. EVER. 

And right in line with taking every thought captive is another spiritual discipline and our #2 practical step for today - which we often refer to as Replacing the Lies with Truth.

Whenever Satan tries to plant lies in your mind, replace them with what God says about you!

If you feel "too much," like your emotions are all over the place (hello, hormones), lean into Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

3. Another practical step is staying active in community. I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but staying connected with others is huge!

Sometimes, we think that we can’t share how we’re feeling, or that everyone else is so perfect, but that’s a lie. God made us for community. So, find a safe space to be with your friends, your family, or even a mentor.

This is key because Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." When you open up to others, you allow them to help lift you up, and vice versa. Don’t isolate yourself—reach out to someone you trust.

4. Simply ask God to help you weather this season. Sometimes, seasons of feeling lonely are actually part of God’s bigger plan, even though they’re tough.

But don’t let that keep you in despair! Ask God to help you grow through this season. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." 

Trust that, even in loneliness, God is working something amazing in you, even if you can’t see it yet.

5.  Finally, and super important, don’t run to numbing things. When we feel lonely, sometimes it’s tempting to numb those feelings with things like scrolling on social media, binge-watching shows, or even hanging out with people who aren’t good for us.

But those things don’t fill the void.

Psalm 16:11 says, "You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." 

God is the only one who can truly fill you up and make you feel whole. Keep running to Him, even when it feels hard.

And remember Isaiah 55:8-9: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways."

God’s timing and how He shows up in our lives might not look like what we expect. He sees the big picture—where we’re going, where we’ve been, and everything in between. Trust that even when it feels like God is silent, He’s still working behind the scenes.

Maybe the loneliness you feel right now is an opportunity for God to show you something new about Himself or grow your relationship with Him in a way you didn’t expect.

So girl, when loneliness tries to sneak up on you, take a deep breath and know that God is always with you.

Your feelings are real, but they’re not always the truth.

Let’s take those emotions to God and walk this journey with Him.

You don’t have to do it alone, and you definitely don’t have to stay stuck in the loneliness.

God is near—and He’s got you.

Ok whhhhheeeww!!!!!

How about everybody takes a deep breath.

That was honestly a really big question that needed a really big answer. Because letʼs be honest, loneliness is really dark. So I hope that offered you some insight and if not, please donʼt hesitate to email me with any follow-up questions or concerns. 

Alright, let’s get to the fun stuff!

Question #2: Is it okay to believe in evolution and still be a Christian? Love this question! It shows you’re thinking deeply about both faith and science.

Props to you for being such a brainiac!

Now, let's dive in. The Bible says God is the Creator of everything—like, everything!

Genesis 1:1 starts it off: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”

He made it all, no question about it. But here’s the thing—we don’t know exactly how He did it.

We know He created everything in seven days, but the details? Not so clear. So, we don’t have to stick to just one idea of how God created everything.

Maybe He used something like the Big Bang, or maybe it was a slow and steady process.

We don’t have all the answers, but we do know one thing: God is the Creator.

He spoke everything into existence! So, we can totally believe in science and still trust that God is the one in charge.

Now, about evolution—God didn’t mention it in the Bible, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t fit with our faith. Christianity teaches that God made everything, and He made us special, just as it says in Genesis 1:26-27: “Let us make mankind in our image...So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

This tells us that God created us with purpose and value, and that’s what matters. Whether He did it in six days or used a process like evolution, He’s still the Creator.

People who believe in evolution say that over time, animals changed into different species. But guess what? We can still believe that God is behind it all! God is limitless—He can do whatever He wants to create life. Whether He used evolution or something else, it’s still His creative power at work.

And let’s not forget, God’s timing is different than ours.

2 Peter 3:8 says, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” God sees the big picture, and we can’t always understand His methods, but we trust that He knows exactly what He’s doing.

The big takeaway?

It’s okay to explore how God created the world.

Whether you believe in evolution or a more traditional view, the most important thing is to know that God is the Creator of everything. He made us, He loves us, and He has a plan for us.

That’s what really matters.

Romans 1:20 says it best: “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

God’s creativity and power are all around us, no matter how you think the world came to be.

So, remember, science and faith can go hand in hand! Whether you believe in evolution or not, just keep trusting that God is in control of it all.

Keep asking questions and stay curious because His ways are always bigger than ours.

Hope that helps! 

And let me encourage you. Keep exploring your faith, keep asking questions. Never stop. Because asking questions is the launching pad for really owning your faith! 

Wow, today’s questions are turning into a longer chat than I expected, but it’s so much fun diving into biblical truth with you! 

So letʼs wrap up with our third and final question for todayʼs episode.

Question #3 is: "Can a person lose their salvation and their passage into heaven after they have already accepted Christ into their life?"

Ok, so basically, can we lose our salvation after weʼve already said YES to Jesus? 

First, let’s start with the basics of salvation: Salvation means that you’ve invited Jesus into your heart to forgive your sins and give you eternal life. And the BEST part? Once you accept Jesus as your Savior, your salvation is secured! And I mean secured for good.

Let’s look at what the Bible says about this:

1. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast." You can’t earn salvation by being perfect or doing all the right things—it's a gift from God. And if it’s a gift, you can’t lose it if you’ve already accepted it. You can’t lose a gift you didn’t earn, right?

   
   

2. John 10:28-29 is so clear about this: “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” This is Jesus talking, and He's saying that once you’re in His hands, NOTHING and NOBODY can take you out of His grip. Not even you! You’re safe in His hands forever.

   
   

3. Then, check out Romans 8:38-39: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Girl, NOTHING can separate you from God’s love. Like, nothing can undo what Jesus has already done for you!

   
   

So, here's the bottom line: Once you’ve accepted Jesus into your life, your salvation is secure!

It’s not something you can lose by messing up or making mistakes.

God’s love is that strong!

When we mess up, we don’t lose our salvation, but we do need to ask for forgiveness and keep walking with Him. That’s why it’s important to keep growing in your relationship with Jesus, reading your Bible, praying, and staying close to Him.

I do think itʼs a different question or conversation to say, “Can I lose my salvation after Iʼve already accepted Christ, but CHOOSE to turn away or renounce Christ altogether.”

Thats another question for another day, but not one I would answer in the same way. And maybe we can unpack that in the next week or two. 

But I digress.

Let’s get real for a sec.

Does that mean you should just do whatever you want and never care about how you live?

NO!

God wants us to live our lives for Him, and that’s not just about “getting into heaven”—it’s about living a life that honors Him now, on this earth!

You’re a daughter of the King, and that means living in a way that reflects His love and grace.

Every single day. 

Remember this:

• You are saved by grace through faith.

• God’s grip on you is stronger than anything or anyone.

• Nothing can separate you from His love.

You’re secure in your salvation, but that doesn’t mean you should take it for granted. Keep pursuing God, because the closer you are to Him, the more joy and peace you’ll find in this life.

Alright, let me hear your thoughts!

What do you think?

Does this help you feel more secure in your relationship with God? I’d love to know how this sits in your heart!

Thatʼs a wrap for today’s Q&A! Let’s quickly recap:

1. Feeling lonely even when God’s with you? Remember, your feelings can trick you, but God’s truth is solid. He’s always by your side, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

   
   

2. Can you believe in evolution and still be a Christian? Yup! We unpacked how both science and faith can coexist. We don’t have to have it all figured out, but we trust in God’s word while also exploring the world around us.

   
   

3. Can you lose your salvation? Nope! Once you're saved, you're always saved. God’s love is forever!

   
   

And remember, sweet girl, in the FR, Let’s Talk community, you’ve found your squad!

We’re here to listen, support, and share God’s love with you every step of the way.

Whether you’re connecting through our website or on socials, we’re always here for you, ready to answer questions and encourage you on your journey.

You’re never alone!

Head over to our website for more ways to ask questions and stay connected. And if you’re on socials, be sure to follow us!

Let’s keep this conversation going and build each other up!

You’re loved, you’re seen, and you’re a HUGE part of this community!

Can’t wait to hang out with you again soon.