Dear Younger Me | The Newlywed + New Mom Chapter

Okay besties, hiiii! Welcome back to FR, Let’s Talk—I’m your host, Kaase Levell, and I’m SO glad you are here! 

Whether you’re listening from your bedroom, your mom’s car, or curled up in a corner booth with an iced brown sugar oat milk shaken espresso (yes, ma’am ), you picked the perfect time to jump in.

We are right in the middle of this super special series called Dear Younger Me—where I go chapter by chapter through my life, talking to my younger self about what I’ve learned, what I wish I knew, and how God was writing a story even when I couldn’t see it.

And the best part? Every single episode points me—and hopefully you—back to Jesus.

Because girl, He was there the whole time. Through every high and every heartbreak. And I need you to know—He’s walking with you, too.

Now, if this is your very first time hanging out with us (first of all, welcome—I already love you), I’d totally suggest hitting pause and jumping back to the beginning of this Dear Younger Me series. 

Because each episode kind of stacks on top of the last episode - like the cutest little faith layer cake, and trust me—you want the full slice.

Also—if you haven’t signed up for the newsletter yet? Girl. Fix that. 

That’s literally where all the magic lives. 

I’m talkin’ bonus devo content, freebies, downloads, scriptures to help you slay your day, and honestly? Some of my fave stuff that never even makes it to the mic.

Now, before we full on dive in—there is one more big thing I have been dying to tell you. Are you ready for this??

We are officially down to our LAST TWO EPISODES OF SEASON ONE! Yup…

We’ve got today’s episode, and then next week we’ll be closing out our very first season with the big finale on Thursday, July 3rd. 

Cue the sparkles, the happy tears, and maybe a dramatic slow clap because this season? She did what she needed to do. Am I right? 

BUT GIRL. Don’t go full meltdown just yet—because…

Season Two is coming in HOT with a total makeover. I’m talkin’ next-level vibes, new rhythm, and a surprise co-host that you are all going to be OBSESSED with.

Yup, your girl is bringing on a CO-HOST—and not just any co-host, guys.

She is a legit powerhouse. 

Like, full send. 

She’s a professional makeup artist with her own makeup line, a Muay Thai fighter (yea, like throwing punches and stuff…), a wife, a mom, running her own faith conference, AND she’s writing not one, but TWO books coming out next year. I mean... how?! What even!?

And y’all she is joining me for Season Two. Yup the entire season! I know, nutso!

Together, we’re going all in on the life of Joseph—yep, the Old Testament icon himself—from dreams to betrayal to breakthrough. 

We’re unpacking every twist and turn and what it teaches us about identity, purpose, pain, and the faithfulness of God. 

It’s gonna be bold, honest, hilarious, and so full of truth. And I’m just telling you now… You are NOT ready, babe. 

But that’s the best part!

We’re giving you six whole weeks to get your mind, heart, and glitter gel pens ready for everything Season 2 is about to bring—because trust me, it’s gonna be FULL of wow-moments, wisdom drops, and maybe even some holy mic drops!

And if you’re doing the math with me... yep, that means Season 2 will relaunch on Friday, August 20th!

So stop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW! Seriously, stop scrolling, close the apps, and go mark that date in every planner you own. Phone calendar, wall calendar, your bestie’s calendar—do what you gotta do! Because this is one countdown you don’t wanna miss. So go, right now. I mean it.

Ok, are you back? Perfect. Now, let’s hit rewind because today, we’re about to dive headfirst into this early married scene. 

But before we dive in, I need to hit pause for just a second—because whew, this one’s tender.

We’re stepping into a season of my life that felt like one long, sacred tug-of-war—between love and identity, between striving and surrender, between exhaustion and joy.

And girl, if I could sum this chapter up in one phrase, it would be this: chronic comparison.

I’m talking about that loud, sneaky, always-in-your-face kind of comparison that shows up everywhere—especially once you start stepping into things like marriage and motherhood. And in a world saturated with influencers, highlight reels, and Pinterest-perfect everything, staying in your own lane? Feels almost impossible.

But here’s your beautiful warning from future-you:

Vow right now to keep your eyes upward and forward.

Not left. Not right. Not at her wedding photos. Not at her baby milestone updates. Not at her perfectly captioned life. Just… up.

Because I’m telling you, when comparison becomes your compass, contentment gets lost. And when you try to keep up, you miss out—on your own beautiful story, on your own pace, and on the peace that comes from resting where God has you.

Proverbs 4:25-27 says, “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you... do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”

And Hebrews 12:2? “Fix your eyes on Jesus.”

Because when your focus is on Him instead of her, everything changes. Your marriage will be stronger. Your motherhood will be more joy-filled. And your heart? Way less tangled in pressure and performance.

So yeah, I know this season might still feel far off for you. You’re not picking out wedding colors or swaddling babies just yet. I know! 

But my hope? Is that you tuck something from this episode deep into your heart. Something that anchors you years from now—when comparison tries to creep in loud and fast—and you remember what God said instead.

Okay, now that we’ve set the stage… let’s rewind a little.

We’re diving into the part of my story where marriage begins, motherhood unfolds, and I start wrestling with who I actually am—

And y’all… this season of life for me? It was pretty daunting. Beautiful, sure, but also entirely all-consuming. 

Trying to be who I actually was, while also trying to be who I thought I needed to be to lock in the ring and build a life. 

And spoiler alert—it led to some very real moments of realizing I may have “liked” things I didn’t actually like.

Cue a 3-day kayaking trip disaster, coming in hot. Let’s talk about shapeshifting, calling it love, and learning how to stay true to who God made you to be—even when you're trying to impress your future husband.

Let’s get into it.

So the truth is, my post-college dating life, was, well busy. 

Let’s just say this season was full of trials, errors and awkward exits.

I’m talking, So. Many. First. Dates.

So many “hmm...not it” moments.

And yes—so many fake emergencies where I had a friend call me mid-dinner so I could make a graceful (but speedy) exit. Don’t judge me, this is dating survival 101, babe. Seriously, your time is coming.  

Anyway, I had just moved to this huge city, working full-time from like 8 to 6, training for a marathon (because I was that girl), squeezing in hot yoga, and still trying to find time for sushi dates and awkward small talk with random guys I met at church or coffee shops. It was fast-paced, exhausting, and honestly… not cute.

Like, finding Mr. Right was not as easy as strolling through Target and bumping into him in the candle aisle. 

Dating life was hard babe. It was a hustle. And not a slow-paced kind of hustle. In fact, it required intentionality where…I had to try. Like legit try—and put in an effort. And that got tiring real quick.

BUT THEN. Somewhere in the middle of all that hustle, I started to realize something kinda major: Yes, I needed to show up and be open...But ultimately? GOD was writing this story.

And that shifted everything. 

Once I really let that sink in, my whole “dating pressure” thing chilled wayyy out. Like, praise the Lord for the peace that comes when you let GO! And girl, that realization seriously took such a load off. 

I actually started to mellow out. I wasn’t chasing anymore. I wasn’t striving or stressing or swiping left and right every five seconds.

In fact—if you heard my last episode, you know this—God actually nudged me to take a break from dating altogether. Like, completely hit pause. Don’t pursue. Just rest. And even though that felt confusing, I did. I took a break. 

And wouldn’t you know, the second I threw in the towel on dating, Adam made his grand entrance. Yup, enter stage right.

When I wasn’t looking. When I wasn’t trying.

When I had finally surrendered the script... God turned the page.

And sometimes, God’s best work happens when we stop trying to write the ending ourselves. Are you tracking with me? 

Tell me that’s not so like God? Right? 

So yeah, the timing was wild. 

The surrender was real. And my obedience?

Wobbly at best. But it was obedience.

So can we just cue a Holy Hallelujah for divine plot twists and answered prayers in yoga pants.

Okay, now that we’re all caught up on my dating break and Adam’s arrival, let’s dive headfirst into the whole Christian world of speed dating. Now some of you might be asking yourselves, what does she mean by Christian world of speed dating? Well babes, this is a thing. Like a real thing.

In the Christian world, sometimes people date for, like, a hot minute—seriously, blink and you’ll miss it—and then boom—they’re suddenly engaged, married, and starting a whole little soccer tribe of babies. Because honestly? When they know, they know—and waiting just isn’t the vibe.

It’s basically just a fast-forward button straight to the happily-ever-after... with lots of diapers and late-night feedings thrown in for good measure. Welcome to the church dating scene, y’all!

Anyway, this next part of the story? Whew. It’s a ride. Like, keep your arms and legs inside the rollercoaster at all times  So buckle up. 

So let’s talk about Adam—the guy who would eventually become my husband. But before we get to the whole “happily ever after” thing, things got a little wild. Like, real fast.

It was instant vibes, girl. We were texting 24/7, totally giddy, and dreaming up date nights and forever plans like it was our full-time job. Guys, I was already scrolling through wedding dresses by week three…And, don’t even come for me—you’d know you’d do the same! 

The first three months? Total bliss. Butterflies. Fireworks. All the heart eyes. It felt like we were so in sync. And honestly, we were all in. Fast. Fun. Flirty. Adrenaline city. Total honeymoon phase.

But then… reality knocked.

By month four, those cute quirks started turning into tiny annoyances. And all that emotional baggage we hadn’t unpacked yet? Oh, it started showing up—with luggage.

Especially mine.

If you’ve been listening to the “Dear Younger Me” series, then you might remember that super painful thing I walked through my freshman year of college—over Christmas break. Yeah… that trauma? It wasn’t tucked away like I thought. It was quietly sitting in the background… until it wasn’t.

And when you’re trying to build something real, while still carrying all that hurt? It’s like trying to build a castle on shifting sand. I started shrinking. Playing it safe. Clinging to control in any way I could. Even though I believed Adam might be “the one,” my fear was louder than any fairytale.

And then… six months in—he proposed.

And yep, I said yes.

But if we’re being honest-bestie-level here? I knew deep down I wasn’t ready. Like, not even close. I still had a whole storm inside me I hadn’t faced yet.

I was still hurting. Still stuck. Still spinning.

But we kept moving forward—wedding planning, Pinterest boards, the whole shebang. Until that one trip…

Fall. Florida. Family vacation.

And y’all—I absolutely panicked.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see clearly. I couldn’t pretend anymore.

Like, full-on freak-out. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t walk down the aisle like this. So… I did the only thing I knew to do… 

I gave the engagement ring back. Yup, literally slid it off my ring finger, and in full silence placed it in his hand. 

ON THE AIRPLANE. Just him and me. And the perfect stranger in the 3rd seat. 

Yep. Mid-flight. Cue all the awkward tension, silent stares, and zero snacks.

Let’s just say... that was one very quiet ride home. Separate Ubers. Zero texts. Three months of total silence.

And here’s the hardest part… no one really understood.

They didn’t see the storm inside me. 

The sheer panic I was feeling. 

Or understand the depth of the trauma I was carrying. All the stuff I hadn’t dealt with. 

The pain I thought I’d buried that was still very much alive. 

No one knew, so they couldn’t possibly understand because the truth… 

It wasn’t really about Adam.

It was about me.

The trauma. The fear. The healing I hadn’t done yet.

Calling off an engagement at 24? That was hard. Like, sobbing-in-the-shower, staring-at-the-ceiling, questioning-everything kind of hard.

But… it was also holy.

Because it was the moment I realized—I couldn’t keep pretending.

I couldn’t keep being strong for everyone else while crumbling inside.

I needed help.

Not someday. Not when things calmed down. Right then.

So I did the brave thing. The scary thing. The right thing.I finally went to counseling. And let me just say—it was not a cute little self-care moment with lattes and cozy blankets.

Some days were ugly cry level hard.Some nights I’d wake up mid-panic, heart racing, memories flashing back in pieces I didn’t even know existed.

But those little pieces? God was gently handing them back to me—one at a time—in doses I could actually handle.

And slowly… the pain that I thought would break me?Started to become the very thing that healed me.

It was the beginning of wholeness.The start of becoming me again.

And girl, I wish I could tell you the healing journey wrapped up all nice and neat right there… but nope. That was actually just the beginning.

If we’re doing full honesty here (and you know I always keep it real), I started counseling back in 2009—and I stayed in it for a whole decade. Yep. I didn’t stop counseling until just a couple years ago! So when I say it was a long road? I mean it was a loooong, like bring-a-snack-and-a-blanket kind of long.

But over time—bit by bit, layer by layer—I started to heal. I got the closure my heart had been craving. And finally, after so much prayer, hard work, and a whole lot of tears… I reached a place where I felt whole enough to even think about dating again.

And wouldn’t you know it… that moment showed up on my birthday.

I decided to take the whole day off to celebrate my birthday—just me, my bestie, and a full-on “new year, new me” vibe. I was turning 25, and for some reason, that felt like a big deal. So what did we do?

We road-tripped up to Wisconsin for the day, because why not?

Think: cheese curds, cowboy hats, small-town cuteness, and bestie energy on max. Total core memory. It was one of those days that just felt magic.

When suddenly, ring ring! My phone buzzed. It was my co-worker Marilyn calling from the office like, “Um hey, sooo… this giant bouquet of flowers just showed up for you. What do you want me to do with them?”

Naturally, I was like, “Wait, hold up—who are they from?”She said there was no card. Zero clues. Total mystery.

Now here’s the thing—everyone who knew me knew I wasn’t working that day. My family? All in the loop. My bestie? Right there with me. Soooo... that left literally no one. I had zero guesses.

And just when I thought I’d cracked every possibility, one name popped into my head—Adam. But remember, y’all… we hadn’t talked in six whole months. Radio silence. Crickets. So he was the last person I would’ve expected.

But I sent the text. The text. My first message to him in half a year.And guess what?He wrote back. It was him. He sent the flowers. 

Insert all the shocked emojis and a dramatic gasp right here. 

Yea, shock factor city, FR, girl.

Anyway, I know we’ve been deep in the dating drama, but like I said—we’ve gotta cover the mom chapter too! So buckle up for the quickest life update everrr.

That night after work? Girl, I was on my A-game. Full glam. Extra body spray. Hair on point. Favorite outfit, obviously. And I was nervous-excited-everything-at-once. You know the feeling. I was feeling all the feels, and honestly? I just knew something had shifted. I can’t fully explain it, but things were different this time. I wasn’t so broken. He wasn’t so broken. Anyway, fast forward, and within a year, we had walked down the aisle and said I DO! We were MARRIED.

April 16th, 2011 in Chicago.

And minus the whole torrential downpour situation (classic wedding day twist), it was the most magical day.

Then things moved fast—it was like boom boom boom—in the best kind of way:

We got a puppy (instant chaos), packed up for South Florida (hello sunshine), and BAM—Not even a year later, I found out I was pregnant.

Like, wow. Did I just give you the world’s speediest recap or what? Efficiency is my love language. Yup, full rom-com recap in under 3 seconds. 

Don’t say I never did anything for you. 

Anyway babes, we MADE IT! Congrats! Cue the big M word: motherhood. We are finally there. 

And honestly? One word to sum it up? Lonely. 

But trust me, there’s way more to this story, and I’m about to share it all.

Now, before we dive headfirst into all things spit-up, sleepless nights, and mom life, hold up. I gotta hit pause real quick and give you some big sister advice. Is that alright??

So, let’s rewind to before the diapers and baby bottles… when you’re still dreaming about Mr. Right, doodling hearts in your journal, and maybe—just maybe—thinking about the kind of guy you might want to marry one day. 

So here’s the tea:One of the most important things you can look for in a future husband is this—find someone who loves Jesus just as much as you do (if not more!). 

Seriously. 

I know that sounds super churchy or maybe like something your mom would say, but trust me, bestie—it’s a game-changer. For real.

Now, the Bible uses this little phrase: “equally yoked.”

And I know, you’re probably like:“Wait… why are we talking all about eggs and yolks all of a sudden??”

Right, totally fair question. Let’s break it down.

What Does "Equally Yoked" Even Mean?!

So, back in Bible days, a yoke was this wooden bar they put over the necks of two oxen—aka big, strong farm animals—so they could walk and work together.

Here’s the thing: if one ox was stronger or taller than the other, it would pull more, or go faster, and the whole thing would be a mess.

They’d go in circles, get off track, or just end up dragging each other down. Not fun.

That’s why the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.”

Translation?If you’re following Jesus with your whole heart, but your boyfriend—or future husband—isn’t, it’s gonna be really hard to walk in the same direction. You’ll be pulling one way, he’ll pull the other, and your relationship can get frustrating, confusing, or even painful.

God’s not trying to be mean with this rule. He’s being protective. He wants your marriage one day to be full of peace, purpose, and Him right in the middle.

So yes, the world will tell you stuff like:

“Just follow your heart!”

“Love is love!”

“Date whoever makes you happy!”

And honestly, those things sound sweet… but they can actually lead to heartbreak if you're not careful.

You're not just picking someone to go to prom with—you’re potentially choosing the person who’s gonna be your teammate for life.

Alright girl, second thing—and this one’s a major must-know!

You’ve gotta have ALL the hard convos. Yup, the ones that make you cringe a little or want to crawl under the table. Those exact ones? Yeah... those are the ones you NEED to have. 

I know, I know. It’s waaay easier to just keep things cute and fun and dreamy. But listen—once you say “I do,” it's not the time to suddenly be like, "Wait… so where are we living?!” or "What do you mean you don’t believe in that??" 

So before you even think about walking down the aisle, ask the deep stuff. Like:

“How do you plan to lead our future fam in faith?”

“What happens if you’re struggling in your own walk with God?”

“Is divorce ever an option in your mind?”

“Where are we gonna live when we have babies one day—near your fam or mine?”

“Are we the same on stuff that really matters to me—like how we vote or what we believe about big issues?”

Ask it all, bestie. Even if it’s awkward. Even if your voice shakes.

No one told me this when I was your age, and I wish they had—'cause let me tell you, some of our biggest fights in marriage could’ve totally been avoided if we’d just talked about the tough stuff ahead of time.

So consider this your sign to stop playing small talk and start having real talk. Because saying yes to forever means making sure you actually know what forever might look like.

Third and final tip, pinky promise! I know I’ve been a little long-winded, but like... I’m just out here trying to help a girl out! This stuff is a big deal when you’re dreaming about your forever plus-one. I mean seriously. 

Okay now, I need you to hear me loud and clear on this one. Turn the volume up, lean in, whatever you gotta do—because this? This one’s a biggie.

Your future husband? He will never be able to fill you. Like… ever.Wanna know why? Because he was never created to. God is the only One who can truly fill that deep-down, soul-level part of you.

Period.

I’ve watched so many amazing girls—smart, strong, totally in love—jump headfirst into marriage thinking it would be the magic cure to all the things:

-Anxiety

-Loneliness

-Boredom

-Insecurity

And sure, being in love feels amazing. But here’s the hard truth: even the most dreamy, Jesus-loving, husband-material guy is still… human. And humans?

We mess up.

We fall short.

We disappoint.

Every time.

So when we start expecting a person—even our forever person—to fix what only God can heal, we’re setting them up to fail. And ourselves, too.

Now let’s flip it—if he expects you to fix all of his wounds, fill all his empty spots, or heal his trauma?

Yikes.

That’s a marriage walking on eggshells.

That’s why God gives us Himself first.

Let’s go to scripture for a sec. In Genesis 2:18, God says: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” So yes—God created marriage as a partnership. A team. A helper situation. 

But also? Psalm 107:9 tells us: “For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.” And Isaiah 58:11 reminds us: “The Lord will guide you always… He will satisfy your needs.”

He will satisfy. Not your crush. Not your future boo. Not even your husband.

Marriage is beautiful, but it’s not a fix. It’s not a Band-Aid for your heart or a backup plan for your confidence. It’s a place to grow. To serve. To reflect Jesus.

A godly marriage should look like two people running after Christ, side by side, pointing each other back to Him every step of the way. Your love story? It should make people look at you and go, “Wow. That’s what Jesus looks like.” 

So bestie, if you’re dreaming about marriage—and I know a lot of us are—remember this:Don’t chase someone to fill you. Chase Jesus until He overflows in you.Then find someone who’s chasing Him just as hard.

Because that’s when the real love story starts.

Alright, now that we’ve parked this whole “marriage convo”, let’s go ahead and board our next flight: Motherhood 101. We’re talking babies, burp cloths, and all things mama life. 

But before we deep dive into the world of spit-up and sleepless nights, I need to pause and say something real: Motherhood is amazing… but it’s also lonely.

Now listen—I get it. Most of you are years away from this season. You're still figuring out your own identity, not diapers. But girl, tuck this away in your heart: the early motherhood chapter? It’s no joke. And the feelings that come with it—like being overwhelmed, unqualified, and low-key questioning everything—are way more normal than people let on.

Having a baby? It literally flips your life upside down.There is no handbook, no “Congrats, you’re ready!” moment. It’s just you, a tiny human, and a whole bunch of moments where you whisper, “Wait... what am I even doing??”

And even though this season was so hard—like I-don’t-even-know-who-I-am-anymore hard—it’s also where I saw major growth. Not just as a mom, but as a woman. Because when I couldn’t carry it all (spoiler alert: I couldn’t), I had to trust that God would step in and carry what I couldn’t. 

So don’t check out here, bestie—this isn’t just for future-moms. This is for you now too. Because one day, when you’re holding that squishy, snuggly, milk-drunk bundle of love… you might also feel incredibly alone.

And I want you to remember me saying:

That doesn’t make you a bad mom.

It makes you human.

You’ll probably ask yourself, “Who even let me take care of a baby?! I didn’t take a class for this! I barely passed health class!”

And yeah… same. 

No one teaches you how to cut teeny baby fingernails without a full-blown panic attack or how to suck snot out of your child’s nose without gagging.

It’s a wild ride. Definitely not rookie league stuff.This is the major leagues, babe.

But here's the beautiful part: in the middle of all the mess and the moments where you feel like you’re not enough, God shows up. Every time. And He grows you. Stretches you. Strengthens you. And reminds you—you were never meant to do it all alone.

So if you ever find yourself in that season one day, feeling low or lost or like you’re failing at this whole “mom thing,” remember this: It’s normal. It will pass. And you’re never alone.

Alright, let’s get real for a sec about pregnancy. They say it’s nine months, but honestly? It feels like ten—like your body’s on a wild rollercoaster ride you never signed up for. Your hormones are throwing crazy parties, your feet get puffier than your favorite marshmallows, and girl, the tiredness? It’s no joke. Like, you could sleep for days but still feel like a zombie.

And the sleepless nights? Oh, honey, they start way before the baby even arrives. Meanwhile, the fear is creeping in—little butterflies turning into full-on panic—in those loooong months. You try to focus on the cute baby clothes (because, duh, who can resist tiny socks and onesies?), but deep down you know this season isn’t exactly a walk in the park. It’s more like a marathon through a jungle gym... blindfolded.

Then your baby finally arrives, and you and your husband just hold hands tight, plaster on those brave smiles, and say, “Okay, let’s do this.” And somehow, you figure it out. But don’t get it twisted—it’s not all sunshine and baby giggles. There will be fights, big questions, and moments when you’re like, “Am I totally messing this up?” But here’s the silver lining—you both grow. Like, not just as parents, but as people who are learning how to be a team in the biggest, craziest way possible. You become this new family of three, stumbling forward but doing it together. And honestly?

That’s pretty amazing.

Just when you start catching your breath from the newborn chaos, welcome to the terrible twos and threenagers—yep, it’s as wild as it sounds. Then comes fours and fives, when your little one suddenly thinks they’re the boss of everything. They’re testing limits, talking back, and pulling stunts that make your heart stop (like, “Did you really just climb the bookshelf?!”).

Every season throws new challenges, and you’ll both have battle scars to prove it. But guess what? You also earn this super cool badge of honor—because surviving all that? That’s serious strength.

Early motherhood is exhausting and scary and sometimes makes you feel like you’re barely holding it together. It might even bring up stuff from your own childhood you didn’t expect. And you’ll probably question yourself a lot. But here’s the deal: no other season will grow you like this one does. Plus, your marriage? It gets stronger and deeper than you ever thought possible. You start to figure out what really matters for your new little family, and when you invite God into this crazy journey, everything changes in the best way.

So yes, it’s tiring and scary and full of “What the heck am I doing?” moments, but it’s also the season where I grew the most—and honestly, I’m so thankful for it now.

And before you know it, your baby will be potty-trained, talking back with all the sass, and slapping on makeup like it’s a full-time job. They’ll be calling you their personal taxi and snack provider, and you’ll be wondering where the time went. So soak up these messy, beautiful days. Don’t let them fly by too fast. It’s hard to survive, but you will come out stronger—promise.

And hey, the Bible’s got your back here too. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

That means start feeding your baby’s soul early—plant those seeds of faith, and anchor them in God’s Word. Because guess what? You’re not perfect (surprise!), and that’s okay. God’s grace fills in every gap. When parenting feels like you’re letting go of control—and girl, it will—that’s the moment to look up and trust God. He loves your kid way more than you ever could, and He’s got this. So lean into Him, especially when it feels like you’re totally winging it.

Okay besties, how’s that for a little dose of real talk about motherhood? Are you still hanging in there with me? I know this season feels like it’s a million miles away for most of you—but trust me, one day you’ll be scrolling back to this episode and BAM! Something here will totally jump out and remind you to give yourself a big ol’ hug of grace instead of throwing shade your own way. 

So, before we close this chapter with all the messy, beautiful feels of marriage and motherhood, I want to take a moment to write a letter to my younger self—the newly married, totally wiped-out mom who desperately needed some grace and a reminder that the comparison trap doesn’t get to win here.

Dear Me, Somewhere Between “I Do” and Diaper Duty,

If I could sit across from you right now—look you in the eyes and hold your hands—I’d start by whispering something I wish you could carry in your heart before the world ever tries to shake it loose:

You are already enough. And you don’t have to compete to prove it.

I know how loud the comparison trap feels. It starts slow, like a soft whisper—watching your friends get pregnant before you, month after month of trying and waiting and wondering, Why not me? And I know how heavy it gets when the people around you move into seasons you’re still praying for. I know how quiet the house feels after another negative test, how you smile for others while holding your breath behind closed doors.

But I want to give you permission, right here and now, to let go of that weight. To stop measuring your worth by timelines. You were never behind. God is not late. He sees you. And His plans for you are not on pause—they’re just unfolding, slowly and beautifully, in His perfect time.

The truth is, the comparison game doesn’t end with pregnancy. It morphs. It shows up in wedding planning—the pressure to be stunning, flawless, to throw a wedding that looks like a Pinterest board brought to life. And deep down, you're terrified of being ordinary. So you spend money you don’t have and energy you can’t afford trying to impress people who won’t even remember the details.

And here’s the warning wrapped in love: if you start believing that being impressive is what makes you worthy, you’ll chase that lie for the rest of your life. It will sneak into your parenting, your marriage, your dreams. You’ll start living through your kids, trying to rewrite your own story through theirs. You’ll pour pressure onto them to be more, do more, shine brighter—not because you don’t love them, but because you still haven’t believed the truth about yourself: you are loved as you are.

So let me offer you grace. Real, quiet, soul-deep grace.

Marriage is not easy. It will ask you to bend, to stretch, to relearn everything you thought you knew about love. You’ll collide—two separate lives learning how to move together instead of apart. It will feel like sacrifice. And sometimes it is. But other times, it’s laughter through tears, quiet breakfasts, whispered apologies, and sacred trust that slowly grows stronger than either of you imagined.

Then comes pregnancy—and oh girl, it’s not all glowing and belly kicks. It’s hard. It changes you in ways no one prepares you for. Your body, your mind, your soul—all stretched thin. And when people say, “Get your sleep now,” you’ll want to scream.

Because you’re already exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too. But even in the weariness, something holy is happening. A new life is forming—not just in your womb, but in you.

And then the baby comes. And the world turns upside down.

You’ll feel lost in a sea of burp cloths, caffeine, and 3 a.m. tears. You’ll doubt yourself daily.

You’ll run on empty. Some days you’ll feel like you’ve failed before you even got out of bed. But I want you to know this, from the deepest part of me: you are doing better than you think. Your baby will be okay. Because God is holding you both.

He’s filling in every gap you feel too weak to cover. He is not asking you to be everything—He’s asking you to trust that He already is.

And sweet girl, trust your gut.

That quiet voice in your heart?

It’s not foolish.

It’s not something to brush off.

That’s the Holy Spirit guiding you as a mama.

He put that instinct inside you on purpose. Stop second guessing it. Stop silencing it just because it doesn’t sound like what the internet says. You are the exact mom your child needs—not because you’re perfect, but because God doesn’t make mistakes.

So show up. Do your best. Love fiercely. And let grace fill in all the spaces where you come up short.

You don’t have to have it all together. You never did. You just need to keep walking with open hands and a soft heart, trusting that God stands in every place you feel small, unsure, or afraid.

And when the noise gets too loud, when the pressure builds and your strength feels gone—I pray you remember this letter. I pray you let it be a quiet reminder that you are deeply seen, deeply loved, and never, ever walking alone.

With all the tenderness in the world,

You.

Okay bestie, whew. You made, like actually made it. How are you feeling? Same. I don’t even know what that is, but SAME.

Can I be really honest with you? This season… It’s beautiful, sacred, and straight-up exhausting. Early marriage and new motherhood will stretch you in ways no other season ever has. The sacrifice is real—like, truly indescribable.

From merging two lives into one as a wife, to laying down pieces of yourself the moment you become a mom... it’s a lot. There will be nights you cry in the quiet, mourning the parts of you that feel lost, and mornings where you smile at your baby’s face and think, I wouldn’t trade this for the world.

These years go fast—like blink-and-it’s-gone fast. And while some things will be grieved, what God grows from this season will take your breath away. Because girl, He sees it all—the tears, the tantrums, the sleepless nights—and He’s working. Even when you don’t feel it. Even when you can’t see it. “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” (Philippians 1:6).

That promise still stands when you're changing diapers or navigating your first fight as newlyweds.

And let’s talk comparison for a sec. From the moment you say “yes” to the dress, comparison will try to creep in. Whose wedding was fancier? Who got pregnant first? Whose baby sleeps through the night? Whose husband is more romantic? 

Babe, don’t take the bait. As soon as you say "I do," make a vow to each other to stay in your own lane, eyes up. When we fix our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) and not on what everyone else is doing, we become more content, more connected, and way more joyful—both as a couple and as parents. “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.” (James 3:16) Don’t let comparison steal the sweetness of what’s right in front of you.

Now listen—I know this all may feel a million miles away. You’re still in school, still dreaming about your wedding Pinterest board and what you’ll name your future babies someday. But my prayer is that something from this episode sticks. That you tuck away one truth—one piece of gold—that changes the trajectory of your future marriage and motherhood.

Because when the day comes, and it will, I hope you remember this: God is growing something sacred in you—and the harvest will be beautiful.