Bonus Q&A : For the Girl in Florida (And Anyone Afraid to Stand Out)

Well hey my sweet girls - WHAT IS UP? Hey I just wanted to hop on here REAL quick today to address a question that landed in my inbox from a sweet girl in Florida on Tuesday.

She asked: 

"What should I do if I feel like I might lose all my friends for not fitting in?"

Girl, thanks for your bravery to write in and be so vulnerable. 

Major hugs and high five vibes coming your way. 

Ya know, I think that what youʼre probably wrestling with is feeling different— now the question is why? Maybe because of your faith, or your personality, maybe your values, or even just your interests—and youʼre probably wondering - will these differences cost me my friendships?

Thatʼs a great question and I can see a heavy concern. 

So today, I want to talk to her—and to every single one of us who’s wrestled with the fear of losing friends for being different. 

Maybe different because of your faith. Maybe your personality. Your values. Your interests.

Maybe you're just growing—and the people around you aren’t growing in the same direction. 

Whatever it is… I see you.

And while doing the right thing might feel clear in your head… it doesn't mean it feels any easier in your heart. 

I’ve been there. 

And I want to walk through it with you today.

I’ll start by telling you a little story.

Back in high school—junior year—I started dating my first real boyfriend. Before that, I hadn’t had any actual relationships. And I’m gonna be honest, even at 16, juggling school and life and a boyfriend felt… a lot.

He was super into the skater scene. 

Like, the full look—Dickie’s pants, Vans, spikey belts, Jimmy Eat World tees. 

And me? I was not a skater girl. 

Not even close. 

But because I wasn’t fully grounded in who I was as a child of God back then… my solution was to try to become more like him.

So I did. 

Little by little, I changed myself to match what I thought he—and his friends—wanted. 

I changed my hair. 

My clothes. 

The makeup I wore. 

Even my perfume. I started to morph. 

And I didn’t even realize it at first. 

It felt like… survival.

I’ll tell the full hot mess sorority story in a later episode, but this part stuck with me.

I was standing in my closet, trying to find dresses that felt like me, and I just froze. 

Everything in there was black or red. 

It was like someone else’s closet. 

Nothing felt like me—the girl who used to love soft colors, pinks and florals and all things dainty and vibrant. 

I’d changed. 

And not in a good way.

Over the next few months, I tried to rediscover the girl God actually made me to be. But then?

It happened again. I started trying to become the person I thought my sorority sisters wanted me to be.

So yeah. A lot of my high school and college years were spent shape-shifting—chasing belonging by becoming someone I wasn’t. 

And while I didn’t realize it in the moment, looking back now… I can say this with love and clarity:

Becoming someone else to fit in JUST doesn’t work. 

It leaves you more lost, not more loved. 

It drains you. 

It hollows you out. 

And it pulls you further from the girl  God designed you to be.

And friend, you—the real, raw, honest, unique you—are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

You’re not too much. 

You’re not not enough. 

You are His. 

And you don’t have to twist yourself to earn love that was never meant to last.

God says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

That word—conform—is exactly what I was doing. Maybe you’ve been there, too. Trying to squeeze into the mold. Playing small so someone else can be comfortable.

But Galatians 1:10 is where it gets real: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? … If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

That verse? It hits like a truth bomb. 

Because when you’re walking with Jesus, it’s not about popularity. 

It’s about purpose. 

And sometimes, choosing purpose means letting go of people who only loved a version of you that wasn’t even real.

But here’s the beautiful part. 

God doesn’t just leave you with loss. He’s also a Restorer.

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

God will bring you friends who see you—who love the real you. 

You won’t have to perform or pretend. 

You’ll be able to breathe.

And listen, if your current friends pull away because you’re choosing to stand firm in your identity, or your faith, or your values… that will hurt. 

But that pain? 

It’s often a gift in disguise. 

Because time will reveal what was real and what was conditional. And conditional friendship isn’t really friendship at all.

Let me say that again for the girl in the back:

If someone only likes you when you’re not being you, that’s not friendship. That’s pressure in disguise.

Psalm 139:14 reminds us,“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

You, friend, are one of those wonderful works. You are already chosen.

Already loved.

Already enough.

So to the sweet girl who sent in that question… thank you.

Thank you for being brave enough to ask what so many of us have felt but didn’t know how to say out loud.

Please keep asking.

Your questions matter.

Your voice matters.

And your identity in Christ? That’s unshakeable—even if friendships around you shift.

I’ll leave you with this:

Isaiah 43:1 says, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.”

That’s who you are.

His.

So take a deep breath.

You don’t have to fit in.

You just have to stand firm in who God made you to be.

And He’ll take care of the rest.

I love you and I am cheering for you!