BONUS EPISODE

Hey, hey friends, I just wanted to jump on here and slide a little bonus episode into you today.

As I was surfing through Instagram a little bit last night, I kind of stumbled across this post that just absolutely shook me to the core. And I thought, I have got to share this with the girls.

And so I just want to dive into a really quick post. I'm taking this from someone that I read on Instagram, Raising Teens Today. And I wanted to share this with you because I think it will resonate so deeply with each of you!

As a mother to two tween teen girls myself, it just made me step back, pause, and just find a soft place within me for all the tween and teen girls today.

Navigating this world with the introduction of social media and all the influencers out there and trying to filter through all the information that you are just bombarded with on a daily basis.

From a mother's perspective, it made me pause and just have such empathy for you. So the post was entitled, What Your Teenager Wishes You Knew.

There are 21 of these that she listed, and I just very simply and quickly want to read them off for you.

Because what I'm extending out towards all teen girls today is empathy. You guys are growing up in an unprecedented world where influence is so epic. And so today, as I read these, I just want you to know that I see you, I feel you, I get how hard it is.

So as I read these, think through this from the perspective of they are being read by a teen girl.

This is a teen girl reading this or maybe writing or journaling this to her mom and saying, these are the things that I wish you knew. 

Number one. I'm not trying to be difficult on purpose, mom. I know I can be moody, distant, and frustrating, but I'm not on a mission to make your life hard. Sometimes I don't even understand my own emotions. And I need more patience than punishment. 

Number two. Comparing me to others hurts me more than you think. Hearing that someone else is doing better in school, sports, or life makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I need to know that you see my efforts and strengths, not just where I fall short. 

Number three. I love all the little things you do for me. Even if I don't say it, Mom, I love when you buy me little surprises, like making my favorite dinner or stocking the fridge with my favorite snacks. 

Number four. You might think my life is easy, but it's not. It's really, really hard. Keeping up with school, sports, activities, and friend drama sucks the life right out of me. Sometimes it all feels like way too much to handle. 

Number five. When you freak out, it makes me think twice about telling you anything else. Mom, I want to share my life with you, the good and the bad, but not if you're going to freak out and yell at me every time I choose to share something. 

Number six. When I make a mistake, don't share it with everyone. Making a mistake is hard enough. The last thing I need is to face a judgmental world. 

Number seven. I really am trying. 

Number eight. I’m going to mess up, maybe even royally. I'm not perfect. I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to disappoint you. I don't mean to. But I'm learning and figuring things out on my own. Mom, just stick with me when I do. I'm not a bad kid and you're not a bad parent. It's just growing up isn't easy. 

Number nine. I need space and privacy. Please don't take it personally when I come home from school and hide out in my room for a couple hours. The pressure of life wears me out. I need time to just be by myself and play a video game or scroll through my phone or just hang out. Don't worry, Mom, I still love you. 

Number ten. I love when we just hang out. Can't we just hang out? I love when we go out for breakfast or lunch, watch a movie together, cook together in the kitchen. Stop trying so hard to raise me right. You're actually doing okay, Mom, but just have a little fun with me. 

Number eleven. Please listen to me, even if you disagree. If you want me to act like an adult, you have to treat me like one. Don't shut me down when I try to voice my opinion, even if you disagree. How else am I supposed to learn how to stand my ground or handle conflict calmly and respectfully if you don't teach me? 

Number twelve. I know you worry, but your long lectures don't help. I know you don't want to hear this mom, but I've heard most of your lectures before. You're not teaching me anything new. And really it just frustrates me. 

Number thirteen. Your rules and boundaries don't bother me as long as they are fair. I know you want to protect and teach me, but when I mess up and the consequences are over the top, it makes me actually resent you and I want to rebel. 

Number fourteen. I still look for you in the bleachers. I know I'm older now, but no matter how old I get, I will always look for you in the bleachers, auditorium, or stands. Just knowing that you always show up makes me realize that you'll always be there for me, cheering me on no matter what. 

Number fifteen. Sometimes I say things I regret. I'll be in a bad mood and I don't know why. I'll be rude to you sometimes and I know you don't deserve it. I don't always know why. I don't know why I say or do the things that I do. It confuses me as much as it confuses you and I am sorry.

Number sixteen. I'm going through a ton of changes right now. Try not to be too hard on me. I've grown two inches in the last several months. My feet are getting bigger, my voice is changing, and there's hair now where there never was before. I'm trying to figure this all out and adjust to it all. If you could go a little easy on me, that would be great, because growing up is really stinking hard. 

Number seventeen. I know I act all tough, but I'm actually really sensitive. It hurts me when you yell at me. And it really bothers me when you give me the silent treatment. Tell me I'm lazy or that I'm selfish. Just talk to me gently and work with me, not against me, and I will learn. When you don't, it makes me want to build a wall around myself and shut you out. 

Number eighteen. I want to do things my own way sometimes. I know it bugs you when I don't wear a coat. I know you hate it when my room is a mess, but I'm getting older and it really bugs me when you tell me what to do all the time. I'll clean my room, just give me a chance to do it on my own terms in my own time, not yours. 

Number nineteen. Mom fitting in matters to me. I know I told you I don't care and sometimes I don't, but most of the time I don't want to be different. So when I tell you I want the expensive name brand hoodie or cool athletic shoes all the kids are wearing, It's not that I'm entitled. I just want to feel a part of the crowd and not so alone. 

Number twenty. Nagging doesn't work. I don't know how to tell you this, but I tune you out when you nag me. It makes me feel incapable when I'm not. It makes me feel like you don't trust me when you can. Leave a note on my dresser, send me a text, or tell me once. OK, maybe twice, because I'll probably forget. I will get it done. Just don't nag. Please. 

Number twenty-one. No, you're not cool, but I still love you just the way you are. You're not the coolest parent on the block, but that's okay. I don't need you to be. I don't always say it and I don't always show it, but I really do love you. I have a lot of growing up to do physically and emotionally. If you can just keep loving me every step of the way, I promise I will come around. Just give me a little time to grow up, mom. 

Girls, I'm with you. I want you to know so much that I am here for you. This is your space. Your community, from a mom's perspective, reading those words just makes me soften so much.

It just inclines my ears towards you. And I want you to know that I am always here. A text, an email, a message away. You are growing up in really tough times.

And I want you to know I am here. I am your spiritual cheerleader, cheering you on, rooting for you every step of the way.

You've got this, babe!!