The Gospel According to Hard Choices: Why You Already Know… You Just Don’t Want To Do It

Let’s just start here. You already know. Like—I could end this episode right now and you’d be like, “Yeah… I know exactly what she’s about to say.” Because there’s that one thing. That conversation you keep replaying… but not actually having. That situation you keep thinking about… but not actually changing. That feeling in your gut that keeps going, “Hey… this isn’t it.”

And what do we do? We stall. We overthink. We re-label it.

“Maybe it’s not that deep.”

“Maybe I just need more time.”

“Maybe it’ll fix itself.”

Spoiler: it won’t. And it’s not because you’re dramatic. It’s because deep down? You already know what the right move is. You just don’t want to make it. Because it’s awkward. Or it’s sad. Or it might change things. Or worse… it might change you.

So instead, we sit in this weird in-between. Not fully at peace, but not fully moving either. Just… stuck. And the thing you’re avoiding? It doesn’t go away. It gets louder, heavier, more exhausting—not because God is trying to stress you out, but because He’s trying to move you forward. And you’re like… “Okay but… can we not?”

So today, we’re talking about the choice you keep avoiding—the one you already know is there—and why making that hard choice might actually be the moment everything starts to shift. Welcome to The Gospel According to Hard Choices.

Okay okay—before we go any further… what is UP my people?! My OG listeners, my day ones—hi, I love you, you’re elite. My new girls who just found this and are like, “Wait… why does she sound like she’s inside my brain??” welcome. You’re safe here.

And to everyone in between—whether you’re in your room, in the car, pretending to do homework, or fully avoiding something right now while listening—I see you. I’m so glad you’re here, because these conversations? They matter.

And last week—we went IN. We talked about The Gospel According to Waiting. The “not yet,” the frustration, the feeling like your life is one long loading screen. And the truth? God doesn’t give spoilers—not because He’s holding out, but because He’s doing something in you. But here’s the thing… waiting and hard choices? They’re connected.

Because a lot of times, the reason you feel stuck isn’t just because you’re waiting—it’s because there’s a decision sitting right in front of you and you’re like, “Yeahhh… I’ll circle back to that later.”

Now before we get all deep, we need to talk. Because if we’re being honest? We don’t just avoid big decisions—we avoid everything. So obviously… it’s time for a Funny Confession™. Tell me why every single one of us has a chair, or a corner, or that one spot on the floor. And on that spot lives… The Laundry Mountain.

Now listen—this is not dirty laundry. Oh no. This is clean laundry. Allegedly. It went through the wash, it went through the dryer, and then it never saw a hanger again. It just… evolved. This pile has layers. History. A backstory. If you dig deep enough, you’re finding a sock from 2022 and emotional damage. And instead of folding it, we go full archaeologist. You’re in there like, “Okay… I KNOW my black leggings are in here somewhere…” Left hand tossing hoodies, right hand flinging t-shirts. Five minutes later? You’re sweating, the pile is worse, nothing has been accomplished.

And then—final stage—you sit back, look at the chaos, and go, “You know what? I didn’t even like those leggings that much anyway.” AND YOU JUST… LEAVE IT. Or worse—you go buy another pair. Because clearly the problem is not the pile, it’s that you “need more leggings.” The mountain wins. Every time.

And okay—it’s funny. But it’s not just about laundry. Because the same way we avoid the pile, we avoid the things we know we need to deal with. We circle it, we dig around it, we pretend it’s not that bad—but it doesn’t go away. It just sits there, getting heavier, waiting. And I need to tell you a story, because this was real life for me.

College me… was not okay. I was in this relationship—if we can even call it that—and it started in college but somehow just kept going into post-college, into real life. And y’all… it was the worst. Not “cute toxic,” not “he’s confusing but it’s fine.” No—draining, messy, exhausting. But here’s the part that makes no sense—I didn’t want to let it go. At all. Because he was that guy. The one you can’t fully have, the one who keeps you guessing, the one who gives you just enough to stay but never enough to feel secure.

And somehow… that makes you want him more.

My brain: “CHASE HIM.” My heart: “Girl… please.” But God? God was not letting me stay there. There came a point where it felt like the Lord was like, “Okay. Enough.” And I was like—“Respectfully… no.” I stalled, avoided, made excuses. “Maybe it’s not that bad.” “Maybe I’m overthinking.” But I wasn’t. And it started showing up everywhere. I was tired, drained, didn’t feel like myself, because when you avoid something that big, it follows you into everything.

And I remember thinking: God is not going to let me outrun this. So eventually… I ended it. And I’m not going to romanticize it—I was not okay. I didn’t feel strong, I didn’t feel proud. I felt sad, shaky, like I lost something—even though I knew it wasn’t good for me. But this time, something was different, because I didn’t just know—I chose to listen.

And what God did in that season? I did not see coming. Before everything even ended, He had already gone ahead of me. He placed me in a Bible study with girls I barely knew, and when the breakup happened, those girls showed UP—dinner, texts, walks, phone calls—not letting me spiral alone. And I remember thinking, wait… this is not what I expected. I thought God would just remove the pain, but instead, He filled the space.

That relationship had taken up so much room, and God replaced it—with something better, healthier, steady. And then—because God is funny—that same season, when I was like, “God, I’m DONE dating forever,” that’s when my now husband showed up. Like… sir?? The timing??? And now I look back and I’m like—of course. Of course God asked me to let go, because I couldn’t see what He was building. I thought I was losing something, and God was like, “I’m upgrading your entire life.”

And THAT is the thing about hard choices. They don’t feel right at first. They feel painful, uncomfortable, confusing. But what you don’t see yet is what your obedience is making room for—better people, healthier love, real peace. So hear this: you don’t need more advice. You already know. God is not confused about what’s best for you. That nudge you feel—that “this isn’t it” feeling—that’s not Him ruining your life, that’s Him protecting your future.

But here’s where we get stuck: you’re not confused—you’re attached. Attached to the potential, the history, the familiarity. And that’s where faith gets real. Because a God lens says just because it’s hard to release doesn’t mean it’s right to keep, and just because it hurts to let go doesn’t mean it’s wrong to obey.

Alright—grab your Bible. Let’s go to John 4. This is one of those stories where Jesus is like, “Let me read your life real quick.” Jesus goes through Samaria on purpose and ends up at a well in the middle of the day, and this woman shows up alone—which already tells us something: she’s avoiding people. And Jesus says, “Hey, can you get me a drink?” Conversation starts. Then Jesus says, “Go call your husband.” She says, “I don’t have one.” And Jesus says, “You’ve had five. And the one you’re with now isn’t your husband.”

Like—HELLO?? But here’s what’s important: He’s not shaming her—He’s revealing a pattern. She’s been searching, trying to fill something, relationship after relationship, hoping this one would finally be it. Sound familiar? And in that moment, she has a choice: deflect or be honest, walk away or let Jesus change her. And she chooses honesty. And THAT is the lens.

Hard choices are about breaking patterns—not just one moment, but something that keeps repeating. Same type of friend, same kind of guy, same habit. Different face… same cycle. And Jesus meets her there not to shame her, but to offer something better. “You don’t have to keep searching like this anymore.”

Alright—real life. What does this actually look like? If you keep going back, it’s a pattern. Be honest—is this new, or is this the same story again? Cycles don’t break by accident, they break by choice. That “ugh I don’t want to deal with this” feeling? That’s your cue, not your excuse. You’re not confused—you’re attached. You know what to do, you just don’t want to lose it. Obedience feels worse before it feels better. Shaky doesn’t mean wrong—it means new. And God will fill what you release. You think you’ll be empty, but God fills it with better—only if you make space.

Let's Pray!!

God… You already know. The thing I’ve been avoiding. And if I’m honest, I don’t want to let it go. But I know it’s not right. So help me. Give me courage, even if it hurts, even if I want to go back. Remind me You’re not taking from me—you’re making space for something better. Be with me in it. Help me trust that what You have for me is worth the hard choice. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Okay—look at me for a second. This is not a “wow good episode” and move on moment. You know what it is. That situation that kept popping into your head this whole time?

Yeah. That.

And now you’ve got a choice—not dramatic, not perfect, but real. A text, a boundary, a decision. And yeah, it’s going to feel uncomfortable. But you’re not the same girl you were 30 minutes ago.

Now you know that nudge isn’t random, that feeling isn’t nothing, and that hard choice isn’t there to hurt you—it’s there to free you. So don’t just feel inspired—move. Even if it’s messy, even if your hands are shaking. Because this is how your life changes—one honest, obedient decision at a time.

So go do the thing. I’m rooting for you. Heaven is backing you. And the girl you’re becoming? She’s already on the other side like—“Yessss… there she is.”